The Terrors Of Being Alive
by MissResidentEvil
Summary: Sherry is terrified when she finds out that a scientist who used to work with her dad didn't die in Raccoon and is crazier than ever. She receives info on someone who is presumed to be the son of Wesker. Polly Burton is living high life with her new boyfriend, until the truth starts to clear up. Jake Muller does not exist in this fanfic, my OC takes his place. Take place in 2015.
1. The Clue

Prologue

The job has been pretty tough the past few weeks with murders all around New York city and no evidence to be found. The crime scenes were cleaned of properly and even the bullets who had been the death of those poor men and women had been taken out of their lifeless bodies. The police had no clue whatsoever to who the murder could be but one thing was for sure; the killer only targeted people who had a foot in shady businesses. The Russian Maffia seemed to be pretty popular. Three out of five victims had something to do with them. So that's why NYPD called us in and I was assigned the case. Nothing has bugged me so much as this one. The murderer didn't leave anything behind. Either he or she was very disturbed with a touch of some kind of perfectionist-mania or this was a professional.

Chapter 1 The clue

I woke up by a buzzing sound nearby. I jerked up from my bed hysterically in a sitting position looking all around me in the dark room, just waiting to see some kind of disturbed, rotten and deformed human being launching at me out from the shadows. A zombie. Raccoon City still held deep concern in me. The nights hasn't been so much better even if it happened seventeen years ago. I was a grown woman now. Fully capable of defending myself and I was really good with firearms.

I was an agent for god sake!

But still, it didn't matter. Whenever Raccoon came into mind I become the scared little Sherry I were that night.

My phone was ringing and the clock showed itself to be 2:11am.

I grabbed my phone and cleared my throat.

"Birkin." I answered and were greeted by my partner's low pitched voice.

"Sorry to wake you, but there is a man here who thinks he knows something that could be of use to us. According the maffia murders." he paused for a while.

"I thought you maybe wanted to be informed." he finished and I could almost hear him smile at the other end.

"Thank you, Richie. This is really good. Keep him warm, I'll be there in ten minutes." I chimed, full of hope and put my phone back on the nightstand. I yawned loudly and got out of bed immediately.

I picked up a blue tank top and put it on and then I searched for my black jeans and my midnight blue blazer.

Coffee would be great right now but I'll have to wait for it until I get to work. This is too important.

I grabbed my bag and hurried down to my white Volvo v40. The night was cold, it was early September so it shouldn't be that cold. I shrugged and opened my car and got in. The car was pretty new, I got it last year for my 28th birthday from one of my closest friends Claire Redfield. She was like a sister to me and has been ever since Raccoon. Without her, and without Leon of course, I wouldn't have gotten through all this alive. It sounds cliché but in my case it was the truth.

Richie greeted me in the hall which was positioned along the heart of NYPD's building. We were going to take left to get to the interrogation room but Richie led me to the right. I stopped in my tracks and stared at his back.

"Umm.. Richie?" I asked and pointed to the left which also had a plate on the wall in black who said 'interrogation rooms 1-10'.

He shook his head.

I followed him trough the corridor and he opened the door on the left of it.

I entered first and locked eyes with a man in his late 60's with grey slicked back hair and a navy blue suit. He smiled and showed of a pair of yellowing teeth and in between them where his right canine tooth should've been was a gold tooth.

His brown eyes wasn't warm and welcoming as my first thought was, the longer I stared the colder they became. I recognized this man somehow but I couldn't put my finger on it.

Richie cleared his throat as he closed the door and turned to us.

"This is our man." He whispered. The man gave him an irritated look.

"I think she can see perfectly who I am, mr Klimer." the man answered. I stared with my mouth agape. This was one of the presidents' old bodyguards. Yuri Olivar. The one that the president came closest with, but when he shattered his knee when he was on vacation with his wife he was useless to the president. But every performing he did back then, Olivar was always there. Why the hell had he come here and how come he knew anything about this?

Richie pulled out a notepad and a pen and I knew I was going to be the one to do the interrogation. That was how it was mostly of the time. According to Richie, we had more success when I did the talk than when he did. He was best at noticing small details which I usually miss. We make the perfect team.

I sat down in the chair across from Olivar and but my bag on the table between us and then I smiled at him warmly. It was kind of a procedure for me. The smile was there to put the people at ease so they just could spill the beans without any complications. I worked in three out of ten cases.

"What do you know?" I asked.

He smiled back hastily and inhaled deeply only to exhale very slowly.

"Just a little bit. But maybe it could help. Do you know anything about a man named Renko? Piotr Renko?"

I nodded a bit too greedy I realized, but I really wanted some answers especially when Oliver mentioned one of my fathers companions. Renko was just like dad, a slave to Umbrellas cruelty and who died in Raccoon just like my father.

"Renko?" Richie asked looking up from his notepad at me.

"A scientist who worked with my father, he is buried beneath the ruins of Raccoon City with him too."

Olivar shook his head slowly making me glare at him in confusion.

"Renko isn't dead. Who told you that?" I glared at him even more, incapable to answer his question even if I knew the answer to it. I have come to known that every scientist working in the Umbrella lab during the outbreak was either dead because of the virus that got out or dead by trying to fight one of the zombies or the other creatures that they created. Karma, if you ask me.

Richie was still peeking at us behind his notepad, he searched my features for any vulnerability. He knew what talking about Raccoon did to me.

I must've been looking terrified or at least giving my feelings up a bit because Olivar was now talking in a very low tone, almost like you do to children when something bad has happened.

"Should I continue?"

I nodded, sitting up straight in my chair and deciding that whatever Olivar was going to tell us it was more important than my feelings.

"He is here. In New York. He is working on something, and god bless me that I don't know what because if I did I would end up just like them."

My mouth was agape again. I couldn't believe what he just had been telling us. I had thought that Renko was dead for at least fifteen years.

"Them?" Richie asked behind his notepad.

"The victims. All shot but the bodies didn't had any bullets in them, right?" he sounded a bit scared.

"That is classified." Richie answered.

"Classified my ass!" Olivar exclaimed angrily.

"Calm down, sir." Richie warned, putting away his notepad in his back pocket.

Olivar snorted offendedly.

"Do you people know how much I risk by coming here at all? Even if I don't know exactly what that nutjob is doing? All you people can do is at least be open to me as I am to you."

I nodded ignoring Richie's irritated gaze when he picked up his notepad.

"That is true. Do you know who the killer is?"

Olivar laughed loudly, the laugh booming between the walls making it even more mockingly.

"Of course I do."

I stared, shocked by his honesty. Interrogations were never this easy.

"Give me his name." I demanded, my fists clenched.

"I have some demands before I am going to tell you anything."

I was so happy to have him cooperating so I nodded fast, locking eyes with him.

"Get my wife, my children and grandchildren out of America."

"That is some demands there, mr Olivar. How about you tell us the name of the killer and then we will see if it is something we can work with?" Richie said interrupting.

"I am not going to tell you anything before they are out of the states. These guys are not anyone you play with, do you understand? They are dangerous. They would kill everyone I love just to see me suffer. And when they have had their fun with watching me suffer they would come, torturing me physically to death."

"We'll do it." I said without thinking, I just wanted these murders to stop. I wanted everyone in this city to feel safe. And I wanted to be the one to make them safe.

"Birkin, a word?" Richie asked, opening the door.

"Of course." I said, excused us and followed Richie out in the corridor closing the door behind me.

He was tense. You could tell, because he always got red in the face when he was. He scratched himself in the head, his black locks bouncing a bit. Then he locked eyes with me warily, his black eyes filled with worries.

"You are taking things to far, Sherry. Are you sure you can handle this? Because I am not. Things like this needs to be talked over with our boss. You know that. We can't decide this on our own, we can get fired." he was serious and I felt a bit ashamed. He always talked so highly of how good I was in the interrogation room and now I just took things over my head. But that was because it was kind of personal now. I didn't want men like Renko (and my father..) walking the streets of New York. Not any streets for that matter. They need to be locked up in a nut house. Not even a prison would do it for them.

"I can do this. I am sorry, I know I took water over my head. But how about you make the call and I try to get something more out of him, like how the Russian maffia is involved?" he smiled a toothy smile.

"That's my girl. But don't get your hopes up. We don't make everyones demands. He can be a freud."

"I know that, Richie. I know that." I finished and opened the door to return to my interrogation.

"Take it easy, Sher." Richie said disappearing to his office.

Of course I would take it easy from now on. This was just a one time thing.

I sat down on the chair I sat on earlier giving Olivar a smile before I started talking.

"My colleague is making the call. We'll see what they say. But now I would like to know if you know something more except for the name of the murderer. It would be of great help to us. For example, how exactly is the Russian maffia involved?"

"Involved? How do you mean?" he asked.

"There are five victims but three of them has connections to the Russian maffia, the other two has at least some drug possession on them so my conclusion was that this murderer only went for people with shady businesses."

Olivar laughed again, but this time it was more of a cry of desperation.

"Haven't you listen to me at all, girl? These people got killed because they knew something they shouldn't know about Renko's work. This has nothing to do with money, drugs or weapons."

I nodded, processing the information. I thought from the beginning that this had something to do with drugs or money. I could've bet on it. But I trusted Olivar's words. He seemed so scared.

"How exactly do you know this?"

I catched him of guard. He probably wasn't thinking that I would ask about his involvement. He nervously drummed his fingers on his fat knees. Yeah, I totally hit a spot.

"Mr Olivar, please answer my question." he leaned in close to the table, looking at me a bit jumpy.

"Ms Birkin, please. I am willing to give you priceless information. I am putting myself in grave danger, my family too! So please, whatever I might've done I am paying the price now."

I was willing to let that go for now. His information was very important to us, to me. If I would come under my radar once again, then I wouldn't be so sure I would play the good cop part.

Richie came in with our superior, mr Tyler. Richie looked a bit nervous, Tyler looked tense and irritated as always. A man in his fifties who thought dying his hair would make him look younger but it most definitely did not. His jet black hair wasn't even his real color, I knew that because of the photos I've seen of him when he was in his twenties when red brown hair draped his head. He was skinny too, a little bit too skinny and the years didn't do him good on the weight part either.

"Mr Klimer here told me that you are willing to exchange information on the city murders for safety for your family, is that right mr Olivar?" Tyler asked him suspiciously.

He nodded and cleared his throat nervously.

"Your demand will be filled. We have a squad who will take you to the safe house. Another squad will pick up your wife, daughters and grandchildren."

Olivar looked relaxed for once now. He exhaled and closed his eyes for a while. When he opened them he looked at me, not Tyler but at me.

"Rosa Terrence. She is a hired gun. She has an apartment in Queens."

I got on my feet, thanked Olivar and then hurried down the corridor down to the computer room to find this Rosa's exact address. This foul woman would soon be behind bars and it felt so good. It made me feel complete somehow, catching bad guys.


	2. Rosa Terrence

It was now very early in the morning. 4:08am to be exact.

I and Richie with three guys more were hurrying down the street a few blocks from Rosa's apartment. It was even more chilly now.

This neighborhood wasn't really what you would guess someone who probably had a lot of money lived in. It was a bit dirty too. And the apartment complex look like it soon would be in ruins.

It was quiet, even our boots sounded more than they usually did. I could even swear I heard Richie's heartbeat. Well, that wouldn't be so weird since he didn't really was a field type of guy. He always got nervous and scared. But he always did brilliant. Sometimes more brilliant than me. He was a really good agent, Richie. I looked up to him.

"Okay, we're here. Apartment fourteen. The light doesn't seem to be on. Hopefully she is sleeping and not waiting to ambush us." I laughed quietly but the little squad remain quiet so did I.

"Raven, Birkin and Johansen, take right. I and Klimer will take left." Truman said and prepared his gun. We did the same and on his count down to three, I opened the front door to the apartment complex and we took the stairs up quietly but fast.

We finally got in front of apartment fourteen. I exhaled and knocked on the door hard waiting for an answer but nothing happened. I knocked again a bit harder.

"This is the NYPD, open the door!" Truman tried. We waited a bit but no answer.

Truman exhaled loudly and pulled the door handle which opened to our very surprise.

"Welcome in I suppose." Truman laughed.

"Be careful." Richie exclaimed when I lowered my gun. I understood that my weapon was still in use for me. Never lower a weapon unless you know the danger is over.

We entered, checking the apartment for Rosa. But we didn't find her. Of course not. She wasn't here. She probably knew that we knew. Everything felt hopeless again. What if Olivar tipped us of? What if this wasn't even true? What if something even worse was going on now and we weren't there to help those people who where to become victims? I mentally slapped myself. Come on, Sherry. Keep going on and on like this and you will turn out in the looney bin with those you try to catch.

"Clear!" Truman yelled on the other end of the apartment.

"Did she know we were coming?" Richie asked us.

I didn't dare to answer. How the hell would we know that? The only thing we could do now is to interrogate the neighbors and also go out with a search for her in the media if can't get to her in the past 24 hours.

Rosas neighbors told us she hadn't been home for weeks. One neighbor, an old lady could swear she had seen her the other night but only for a few seconds when she went into the apartment to get a bag of some sort and then she got into a car and since then she hasn't seen her. She also told us that ever since the first time she lay eyes on Rosa she knew that something wasn't right with that girl.

Maybe Olivar didn't lie after all.

I kicked an overfull dumpster in the alleyway I was walking in. It had been one to many drinks this night. But I was worth it after all the dirty work I've been doing these couple of days. Dirty work wasn't even bad enough for what I had to deal with. Those pathetic faces full of tears, they all looked like toddlers to me. They knew what they had gotten into and they knew what he did to people who tried to destroy his amazing work.

Renko was a man filled with wisdom and power. All these things he worked on, whatever it really was. I didn't know for sure. I knew it had something to do with what he did back in Raccoon City.

My phone started ringing loudly making me hush it a bit for waking up all the people in the neighborhood.

"Yeah?" I answered.

"Rosa, where are you?" Mike breathed heavily into the phone. He sounded scared shitless.

"I'm in Florida. Why, what is it?"

He was quiet for a while, making me annoyed.

"Mike, don't call me if you don't want anything. And stop breathing like the fat motherfucker you are. Get some exercise." I hissed.

"The cops are searching your apartment here in Queens. They are turning the place upside down and they are asking all of us about you, what we know about you. I think they are onto you."

I stopped in my tracks. My heart started pounding in my ribcage hard, it almost felt like it would jump right out of my chest.

"When did they talk to you?" I asked with a trembling voice.

"Approximatly an hour ago."

"An hour?! Are you as fat in the head as you are everywhere? Fuck, Mike! You should've called when they left your apartment! What did you told them? I want to know everything! Tell me!" I almost screamed. I was now crouched against a stone wall my head almost between my legs.

"I told them nothing of course, Rosa. I would nev.."

"Nothing? Of course you said something. Tell me every word. Do I have to repeat myself?"

"I told them that we were just neighbors, that I didn't know you personally. They also asked if I knew if you had a boyfriend or something, they wanted to know every possible thing. Oh, I barely remember, Rosa. I was so nervous. The girl cop mentioned me being nervous too. Like she knew something. I've been standing by the window since they left, trying to se if they'll find anything. I would do anything for you, you know that."

"Are you stupid! You can't stand by the window like a suspect! Oh my god. You are so fucking slow. I wish I never would have trusted you with this you dumbfuck. I will tell Renko everything. Everything! Do you hear me? He will come for you if you fuck it up more. Do you feel me?"

"Rosa, I'm so sorry. I did everything I could for you. You know I'll do everything for you. You are my everything and you will always be. When we meet again I will make everything right, sweetheart. Ok? I'm sorry." he pleaded like a little child. Just like those pathetic people did right before I pulled the trigger, ending their miserble lifes. He had been in love with me ever since we were in high school, following me like a little bitch. He thought I one day would see past his obesity and uglyness. But no, I had Renko. Mike couldn't even barely stand up to him, not even a little. It was so disgusting so it became sad to see Mike still trying.

"Stop it, do you honestly still think I will ever be yours? I have someone who is worthy me. He has money too, something you never are going to be willing to be make. You are just laying on your fat ass watching TV." I spat.

"Renko doesn't deserve you, Rosa."

I angrily ditched him and put my phone back in my bag and walked into the house Renko was renting for me. A blue beach house with three rooms and two big bathrooms. He really spoiled me. I laughed as I closed the door behind me. Who the hell did Mike think he was? He almost got me arrested. Renko will not be pleased with him, now he would have so much work to do to get me out of it.

I walked into the kitchen, not caring about turning the lights on since I was use to work in darkness so my eyes kind of liked it better. I made myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and poured a glass of milk.

"Fuck!" I hissed angrily as I accidentally poured the milk on the counter instead of in the glass. I took a cloth and dried away all the milk. Irritated I flicked on the light and continued pouring milk. I took a sip and went for the bedroom.

I dropped my glass on the floor, glass shattering all around me.

 _He_ sat in my black armchair, legs crossed, staring at me with a mocking smile.

"What the hell are you doing in my house?!" I exclaimed as I tried to figure out the answer myself before he answered.

But he didn't right away. He just kept staring. His grey eyes so intensenly staring into mine it gave me the chills. His blonde hair so perfect, like it always was. Combed to the side a bit, he looked rich. Well of course. He was. Really rich.

If I didn't knew who he was, I would probably be head over heels with him. He was truly handsome. Such a waste for someone that hot actually in my opinion.

"Get out, now! Or I'll call Renko immediately!" I threathened him.

He shook his head with a mockingly laugh.

"Who do you think send me, ms Terrence?" he asked in a deep low voice. I stared at him uncomprehendingly. What did he mean? Why would my own man send _him_ to me? He could've send anyone. But not him. He knew how I felt for him. He made me pee my panties just by looking at me. The first time and the only time before tonight I met him, I almost got an heartattack. His way, everything with him just screamed darkness. Like he didn't have a heart at all. Creepy wasn't even covering the reality of it.

"I..I..Don't.." I stuttered taking a step back.

"The authorities is onto you. How do you explain that?" he asked.

"I want to talk to Renko, now." I demanded.

He stood up, his 6.3ft made him look even more frightening. My small frame didn't have a chance.

"You messed up. Big time." he said and took two steps toward me. I instinctively took a couple of steps back hitting the wall. I tried to look for an escape route. I needed to get out.

He stopped in his tracks. He just stood there, right in front of me, smiling wickedly.

"I want to talk to him, now!" I screamed loudly. In a blink of an eye one of his gloved hands were over my mouth and the other was holding me up against the wall hard, a feet of the ground.

I cried desperatly, I was so scared that I shook like a leaf on a windy day. I didn't even dare to look at the monster so I kept my ass closed but I kept sobbing.

He hushed me quietly, his lips so close to my ear.

"I thought you would put up a fight ms Terrence. But I guess I was wrong." he loosened a bit on the hand over my mouth. But all I did was cry.

I've heard terrifying stories about what he had done. He was merciless. Ruthless. He didn't act with feelings. People even talked about if he had any feelings at all. I didn't know if it was true but Renko once told me that one hit man he had heard of, the Merciless One, had only been in the work for eight years despite that he had killed around sixhundred people. Women, men, children. Everything that they paid him to kill, he killed. The bodies of all those people had never been found. He got rid of them on some way no one knew. It was also said he killed his victims with such hatred that the last minutes of a victims life is the worst she/he has ever experienced. He is like a animal.

I wasn't ready to die.

"Please.." I pleaded, sobbing inchoherently. I couldn't believe I was the one pleading now. But it wasn't only that I was scared. I felt betrayed too. I loved Renko and I was willing to do anything for him and he knew that. But even so, he send _him_ to my house. To kill me. There was no other thing he was here to do. He wasn't the one you send to someones house to scare them. He was the one you send when things was so bad that there wasn't any other way to solve it. I tought I meant so much more. I really didn't thought I was expendable.

He shook his head and turned his back at me instantly letting me fall to the ground.

I hit the wooden floor hard, hurting my ankle. It stung a bit but there was more serious things at stake than whining over it. His back was still turned at me. I could hear him laugh quietly.

Maybe I had my chance. I had a spear gun, just in case, in the drawer in my bedroom upstairs. If I hurried, I might've the chance to at least wound him and if I could do that, maybe I will be able to take cover, to flee.

I took my chance and sprinted towards the stairs, I didn't dare to look behind me to see how close behind he was, it might slow me down.

I ran up the stairs, almost choking on my breath but when I saw my bedroom door a feeling full of hope filled me. I could do this, I had to.

I slammed the door behind me and locked it hastily then I hurried over to my guns resting place, pulling out one of the drawers. Panic filled me now instead. It was nowhere to be found. I started sobbing again, scared and angry. He must've known.

It knocked on the door hard, making me jump.

"I suggest you open the door, ms Terrence. This isn't the way you should treat your guests, now is it?" he mocked.

I screamed angrily and hurried over to my window and tried to get it open.

"I'll give you one last chance before I get angry. Open the door. Now." his voice more like a growl now.

"Fuck off!" I screamed back still trying to pry the window open.

A loud bang was heard outside. He was going to kick the door in.

In all my panic, I smashed my fist into the window making it break. I had only seconds now.

Another bang was heard and I saw in the corner of my eye that one more kick and he was going to get in. The door was going to jump out of it's hinges.

I stuck out my head out of the hole in the window and screamed so loud my lungs allowed. Maybe someone was going to hear me and come to my rescue or call the police.

A third bang followed by a fourth even louder told me that the door now was on my bedroom floor and I had to crawl out of the window and so I did. I tried get out but he grabbed my ponytail from behind pulling me back into his arms.

I was screaming hysterically and he quieted me by shushing and holding me hard, my face against his rockhard chest. He smelled like an expensive cologne and.. was it blood? The smell was a bit iron-like.

He petted my head, making me very confused. What was he playing at?

I tried to get out of his iron grip but to no avail. I was very strong for being so short and thin but he was so much stronger. Much stronger than an average man.

"Let me go!" I tried.

"Do you honestly believe I will do that?" he asked, his lips even closer to my ear than it was before. He breathed slowly, making his breath caress my skin. I got goosebumps even if it was a fucked up situation. He made me confused, why didn't he just kill me? I had been pretty loud and the authorities could be here any minute. But still he didn't seem to care

I started crying so badly I barely couldn't breath, the tears fogging my sight.

He grabbed his hands around my neck, pressing so hard that I now couldn't breath. He was choking me.

I tried to kick his knees but for nothing, it was impossible.

My sight were starting to become only a blur, and my lungs ached badly.

I saw him smile evilly and then everything started to darkened.


	3. The Letter

It had been a week since we searched Rosa Terrence's apartment in Queens. Nothing implied that she was invovled in any way at all.

All of this started to get the bitter side of me. I usually was very patient but with this case I just couldn't. I wanted to get that son of a bitch and put him in the looney bin, now.

I exhaled and got out of my car, putting my red hat on. It was very cold now in the evenings and nights but that didn't stop me from taking a walk in the park. I needed to calm down. That was easier said than done of course.

The leaves had started to fall from the trees now, making the ground colourfull for once. It sheered me up a little bit, the nature was beautiful.

It was pretty windy so I pulled my scarf up over my mouth making it warmer.

I heard some dogs barking on the other side of the park and then I saw a rottweiler coming my way. I stopped in my tracks and waited for the dog to listened to it's shouting owner and after a while it did. It was just a puppy, so I weren't afraid. The bigger ones could sometimes, if I met them at a bad day, give me panic. Some of them resembled the mutant dogs who chased me back in Raccoon and somehow I just can't get over it fully. I don't think I'll ever be able to.

I decided it was enough walking for tonight so I started to head back to my car when my phone started ringing in my bag. I fished it up and stared at the dialer. I didn't recognize the number at all. It seemed to be foreign, from another country.

"Birkin." I answered, meeting someone breathing heavily on the other side of the call.

"It is me, Olivar." He breathed, he sounded like he had been running a marathon.

"How do you got my number? What is it?" I asked worried.

"I want you to listen to me, Birkin, because i'm only going to tell you one time. I have made a huge mistake by telling you about Rosa. Renko took a move I never thought he would. He hired _him_ , he killed her. She is missing right? You can't find her? That is because he has killed her and he is after me now. I am a dead man, do you hear me? A dead man." he panted. I was confused.

"What do you mean? Who killed Rosa? Who is after you? What is happening, Olivar? Tell me. I will send back up!"

"It is to late, he is here. I can hear him creep outside. Dragging my lifeless family's bodies. He will come for you to if you don't stop. He is.." a loud bang was heard in the background and then I heard Olivar scream out of fear and the call was ended. I just stared at the phone for a second and then I called Tyler quickly explaining to him what just happened and I forced him to send a squad to Olivar's safe house.

I hurried over to my car, got in and drived to the station as quickly as I could.

The station was quiet and I hurried to Tyler's office and I met Richie in the door opening.

"Sherry. Tyler wants to talk to you. He is in the computer room." he said, walking off without even asking me how I was. I watched him walk away confused and then I shrugged it of and hurried to the computer room, greeted by Tyler.

"Sit down, ms Birkin." he suggested and I did as I was told.

He sat down in front of me and watched me a while. Something was going on I could feel it.

"You are out of shape, it is getting worse with this case. I need to write you of off it. I am sorry." he said as it was as simple as that. Just kicking me out.

"Excuse me? I can handle this, Tyler. You know that. Olivar called me. Not you or anyone else, he called me. So that should be enough proof for you to keep me on the train."

He shook his head slowly.

"This case is getting to personal for you, you need to take a week off. I just talked with Richie and he believe that you are taking quite the damage by working on this case." I couldn't believe my ears. Richie? That son of a... Why didn't he talked to me first before he decided to talk to our freaking boss who signed me of the case? I was so angry now. I don't believe I had felt this betrayed in a long while.

"Richie? He can't even hold a gun straight and you keep him? I have been in hell, there is nothing that is going to shock me!" I said, raising my voice a bit.

"This is decided, ms Birkin. I am doing this for your own good. Take the week off. And then I will assign you another case." he started to grow impatient but I didn't care.

"You are going to regret this, Tyler." I simply said and stood up on my shaking legs.

"I promise you that." I finished and walked out of his office and out in the corridor where I saw Richie standing with Truman discussing something. I walked over to them and smiled mockingly at Richie.

"You are a smug bastard. Do you know that? I thought we were partners." I said and stared him down.

"I did it for your own good. I care about you and you are not thinking straight right now. You need a break." he said, smiling warmly and that only made me angrier.

"Stop smiling at me like that, and what I need is to catch that son of a bitch. So, thank you for that, _partner_." I said with a disgusted emphasis on the last word and then I left for my car ignoring him shouting my name after me.

I got back in my car and drove off a few blocks and then I stopped, feeling teardrops fill my eyes.

I slammed my fist against the stearing wheel, letting myself cry out.

I didn't need this right now, this made me take damage. I wanted to be the one to catch him. I wanted to be the one to save them.

"Fuck.." I whispered to myself and dried my tears.

What should I do now? Go home?

There wasn't much options, so I steared the car home crying all the way to the parking lot.

When I got into my apartment, I checked my mail. There where a couple of bills, a card from Claire's holiday in Spain and a brown big letter who it didn't say where it was from. It was written ' .' in dark thick letters. I shrugged and took the elevator up to the fifth floor where my apartment was.

I locked up and when I got inside I threw the mail on the dining table and told myself I was going to get through it later.

I sat down in the cream white sofa and turned on the TV. It was somekind of a horror movie, with werewolves and vampires. I shrugged and layed down only to cry myself to sleep.

I woke up in the middle of the night, the TV had gone blank. The channel wasn't sending anymore so I guessed it was between 4-5am. I yawned loudly and got up to the kitchen, finding all the mail on the table. I had almost forgotten about Claire's card. I read it fast, it was something about her and Moira having a really good time, they had been to a bar and got a few numbers from some handsome gentlemens. I laughed and put down the card. Then I saw the brown letter.

I picked it up and tried to open it. It was glued shut so I went into one of the kitchen drawers, finding a letter opener.

I cut the letter open and took the contents out. It was alot of papers and some pictures. What was this?

I took one of the papers and read it. It was somekind of an birth certificate. It was in german, but I knew some words which was lucky or else I wouldn't had understand anything of this.

It was about someone named John Dorner. He was born in January 3rd 1988, in Düsseldorf, Germany. It said how tall and how much he weight when he was born, it wasn't anything that stood out there, it was as the average babies.

Mother; Lena Dorner. Father; Unknown.

It also told which hospital he was born in and other information I didn't really understand why I needed.

I took one of the other papers, it was a picture of a woman in her early thirties who held a little baby wrapped in a blanket. It wasn't any information, just a picture and the caption; 'Lena Dorner, February 1988.'

I watched the picture for a while. The woman was very pretty. She had big green eyes and long wavy blonde hair. She reminded me somehow of Elsa from the movie Frozen.

I laughed at myself and put the picture down and then I took up another paper.

I couldn't believe my eyes. It was typed with the Umbrella logo and was in English. It was somekind of an test they had did on someone. I read hastily and understood that they had been doing an test on this John.

It was written to had been done in 2001. He hadn't been more than thirteen years old back then. I shrudded when I thought about what Umbrella used to do, and what Renko probably was doing at this exact moment.

Behind the paper on the test it was a logg where the scientist who performed the test had explained what it was about. I didn't understand much, what I did understand was that there was something with his blood but they weren't able to do further tests during an complication. The scientist was Piotr Renko.

I stared at it for a while. Renko? Was this somekind of an tip from someone unknown?

I picked up the pictures flicking through them, one at a time.

The first one was of a blonde man in maybe his twenties, it was hard to tell because this pictures had been taken without any permission from the the man. It looked like spy pictures.

The man was on his way out of his car, a black BMW. It felt like I had seen him before, I couldn't put my finger on it really but he was familiar. And he was very handsome.

The other picture was of this man again, but this time he was with an older man and they were at a restaurant, talking about something.

The third picture was of him again but now he was on a balcony talking on his phone.

The fourth picture scared the hell out of me, it made me threw away them back on the table.

It was a picture of someone I didn't even knew who it was, but it was an older man and he had had his neck snapped. He was sitting in a chair in an office, hanging lifeless.

I took a deep breath and took the last paper I could find. It was written by someone. It was an address on upper east side, an address to somewhere in Queens, it also was an ad to a company called 'Hobbs Ventilation and Installation" and then it said with large words which almost made me faint. "He is the Merciless One. A hired gun. He is the one you are looking for. You decided to became something else than your parents, he did not. Be careful, proceed with caution. He is the biological son of Albert Wesker."

I stared at the paper like the sick thing it was. Was this somekind of a joke?

I searched for the Umbrella test paper and read it all over again, trying to understand what it meant. He had a lot of antibodies. Just like Wesker had.

I took one of the pictures up, the one when he got out of his car and I just stared at it. The similarity was eerie.

I sat down on the floor, starting to look at all the pictures and papers again. Trying to see if it was someone who was messing with me or if it was for real.

For a minute or so I was thinking about calling Richie and tell him about this but I put those thoughts aside. He betrayed me, his own partner, so why should I give him this? I didn't even know if it was real.

I took a look at the addresses again and decided to look them up on my computer.

The first one was to a fancy apartment building and the other was to a club in Queens. I've heard of this club before, it was called the 'sweetest poison'and some of my colleagues had an razzia there not long ago after someone tipped of that the owner did some drug dealing there. They didn't find anything though.

It was friday morning, so there shouldn't be any problem checking it out tonight. But first I needed to go the address on upper east side.

I had just jumped out of the shower, I took some more hours of sleep and that made me a bit sweaty. I didn't know what would happen today, I didn't barely know what I was looking for. Someone did quite an effort to give me all this papers and pictures so somehow, it needed to be something I had use of.

I put on a white cardigan and a pair of blue jeans and then I brushed trough my hair with my brush a few times before I headed out to my car.

I wrote down some directions so I knew where I should go.

I unlock my car and got in to it, firing up the engine. I took a last check on the directions and the clock who said it was already 7pm.

I went out in the traffic and checked the directions every now and then, trying not to get lost.

When I got in on the "nicer" streets everybody looked diffrent somehow. They looked so careless, walking in their fancy clothes and shoes. Wearing a handbag that was nearly as expensive as my car.

When I closed in on upper east side 14 I slowed down a bit and parked a few feet away from the entrance. I didn't want anybody to think I look suspicious and call the cops.

I just sat there and waited for nearly an hour. Nothing happened. I didn't see this man named John or anybody else who looked out of place. I started to wonder what the hell I was thinking coming here. Did I honestly believe I would've found something? Get some answers?

I thought about Olivar and got a big lump in my stomach. What has happened to him and who was it he was talking about? I hoped he was unharmed even if that was pretty unlikely. Someone had done something to him.

Right before my eyes, I nearly missed it, came an black BMW, parking right infront of me and out came the man on the pictures.

I swallowed my breath in panic. What if he saw me? He would know I didn't belong here. I wasn't wearing any fancy clothes and I sure as hell didn't have a fancy car.

I reacted in the last minute and picked up my phone, pretending to be very busy with it.

I saw him in the corner of my eye, locking his car and going in to the entrance of the apartment building. Was this his home?

I had to know if this was his home address.

I waited a bit and then I hurried to the entrance checking the names on the gold plates.

J. Dorner lived at floor six, apartment 4576. I swallowed hard and stared at the other gold plates, looking for Renko. It was at least worth a shot. But I didn't find anything of course.

The door was pushed open, almost hitting me in the back.

I turned around to ask the person to look out but I didn't find any words. It was John standing right infront of me. I would've guess he was about 6foot. He was really tall, so tall I almost cracked my neck looking at him.

"I'm sorry, miss. I didn't see you there." he apologized in an dark, low voice. Smiling apologetically.

"Uhm. It's, eh, okay." I stammered, looking into his deep, grey eyes.

"You looking for someone?" he asked. I panicked a bit. Did he know I was looking for him? No, it was no chance that he could know that. He was probably just being polite.

"Ehm, yes. But he isn't home." I said, trying to inflict some confidence into the untrue words.

He nodded, picking up his car keys.

"Have a nice evening then." he finished and walked over to his car.

I didn't had the time to answer before he was pulling out of the side and into the traffic, disappearing into the stim.

When he was out of sight I decided it was a good idea going back to the car and try the other address. Maybe it could give me more than this did.

This gave me much, I stumbled into him! But I still didn't knew more than I did when I came here and in my opinion it didn't gave me anything.

I decided to go home first and look into more information about the club before I went for it. I needed to know if it was some kind of dressing code, what music there was going to play and which kind of people it was that hung out there. I needed a disguise if I by accident met someone. I was after all an cop and if I met someone I have interrogated or put in jail before, I was pretty fucked.

It had it's own website. It was quite good, they probably had put a lot of money in it. It was very colourful and in my opinion, slutty.

Why? Because it was a lot of young girls who was scantily claded and was dancing a bit sexually. You could mix it up with an strip club but it wasn't. It was an nightclub. No dresscode but it seemed like it was two types of people there. Young girls and men in all ages. Most russians. The club was owned by a russian so it wasn't anything wrong with that.

I decided to play dress up so I went into my walking closet and turned all the drawers upside down after some of the clothes I haven't been wearing in what felt like ages. A couple of years ago before I decided to be a cop I had an really dark time. I partied a lot and was close to get into the wrong path of life but I made it out of it. But the clothes I used to wear, I still had left which now came in handy.

I decided for an tight fitted, black dress which ended a bit above my knees. A pair of red pumps will do great with it.

I did a smokey eye and put on some false lashes. I had an hard time deciding if I should have deep red lipstick, light red lipstick or just some lipgloss. I decided to go with the lipgloss. I didn't want to stand out to much.

My hair I put in an messy bun on my head, sprayd it with hairspray and went for my car.

The clock was a little bit over half past ten in the evening when I arrived outside the sweetest poison.

It was very crowded and I had an hard time finding an parkingspot. A taxi came, took one of the spots I wanted but it left as fast as it came and I took it's place as fast as I could.

I took my little handbag and took of my belt and took a look outside, trying to see where the entrance where. There were people everywhere and I didn't want to make an fool out myself.

And there he was again. John.

I sank down in my seat, trying to make myself invisible. If he saw me now, he would probably think I was stalking him.

He was with five other people. Three men and two women. The blonde woman was walking pretty close to him. Could that be his wife?

The men were loud and smoking, they talked in some kind of baltic language. Russian. It must be russian.

They took place in the line but one of the men were waving and screaming at one of the doormen and it took a while for him to realize in all that noise and movement.

The man seemed to be annoyed with the doorman and as fast as he got there, he let them in.

The blonde woman turned around and stubbed her cigarette, laughing happily.

I had to look again, wide-eyed.

I knew that girl. Or did I? I definitely recognized her but from where? Was it private or from work?

She flipped her blonde, chest-length hair, behind her ear and walked in with them.

It made me feel uneasy. Something was not right at all. I had to get in there and take a better look at her. Something gnawed in my head, forcing me to get out of my car and walking over to the line.


	4. My Heart Beats For You, My Love

**Warning for graphic content in this chapter. There's gonna be some sexual content in the end of this chapter. Now you are hereby warned!**

It was very crowded this friday because of the new DJ Rutznikow had hired. He was as I was told by Calina a legendary one in Russia.

It was after all Calina's idea to follow the guys here today, she was all hyped. I was a bit more careful as always. Calina, Georg, Ivan and Erren always drank so much they barely could walk home. But I had made an promise to John to take it easy. This club weren't really a place for an ninteen year old girl whose father was a police. I knew that. But Johns world was my world. To be correct; it was my hidden world. I actually wasn't the girl to lie to my parents, but what would they say if I told them about John and his businesses? Dad would go berserk for sure, mom would worry herself to death and my sister would just yell at me for being a stupid bitch, wasting my life when I had everything. It was kind of true. If it came forward that I hung out with people who did and sold drugs, I would probably get some kind of penalty for knowing it and not telling the authorities.

We got in and took our seats we always had, the big table in the corner at the back. I scooted in beside Erren and John took his seat beside me, watching the entrance carefully. He looked a bit to serious and I didn't like it.

"What is it?" I asked, leaning over to him so we could speak undisturbed.

He smiled, trying to comfort me.

"Nothing you have to worry about, Polly." he said handing me some money.

"I need to go and talk to Rutznikow. Keep an eye on her." he said to the group, nodding at me.

"Of course we will, J.D!" Calina laughed.

"We will sherish her like a diamond, boss." Erren said with a deep russian accent.

He smiled at me and stroked my cheek quickly before he went to Rutznikow's office which was in the back of the club where we sat.

"You guys are so cute, do you know that? I never thought anyone would fit his standards." Calina said with a toothy smile.

"Fit his standards?" I asked a bit repelled. I didn't like when they talked of him like that. Like he was a brat who wasn't satisfied with anything or anyone. He was not like that. Far from it. Well, he wasn't the one to praise everybody all the time whenever they did something good. He merely nodded in approvement when you did something he liked. But that was also a kind of gesture, right? You don't have to walk around and praise everyone, I've had enough of that from my family already. If you have to much praising then you don't really know for sure when you really did anything worth bragging about.

He didn't brag about his fat bankaccount either and did absolutely not push people down.

"Yeah, you know what I mean." she said shrugging.

I laughed quietly, deciding to let it go. I didn't want to fight with her tonight. I wasn't the person to fight at all actually so whenever I could dodge a fight, I gladly did.

I began to wonder how long the meeting would take. Probably a while since everything was business for him. The business meant really much for him and was a part of him.

He was a drugdealer and I didn't care about it. He didn't was a drug addict of course. He hate everything about alcohol and drugs, he said it was a poison only ment for weak people who didn't know how happy they were to be alive when there was people dying everyday. But it made money and a lot of it so he kept doing it. And I didn't question it. Who was I to do that?

Well, the first time we met, I was very anti all the drug things. I had just entered my childhood friends' secret world. Calina had suggested for me to come to a party with her just so I could see that it wasn't so bad after all. I declined it right away. But I came around a few days before the party and decided to go with her and so I did. I had the time of my life. And I met John.

He sat by himself in the corner of the room I remember. Some people tried to make an conversation with him but always after a few seconds they all nearly ran away from him. I watched him for nearly an hour. I couldn't take my eyes of off him. He was the most beautiful man I've ever seen. And he also looked a bit intimidating and it caught my attention.

I went over to him and talked to him, at first he wasn't that happy about my company but after a while he bought me drinks and later we ended up at his place.

He was such a gentlemen. That was what made me fall in love. For an example; he had the hugest opportunity right infront of him that night. I was drunk and very clingy, I attacked him with kisses, trying to get him out of his clothes but he refused. I had earlier told him about my love life and in between there I mentioned me being a virgin. He refused taking my virginity when I was drunk and didn't know what I really wanted. So many guys out there, even Erren who had started to become one of my closest friends, would have taking the chance to bang me. So the morning after, I gave in to him and he let me do it.

"Why can't you just dance with me, Pol?" Calina nagged. I sighed and looked over to Erren for him to help me out on this. He didn't notice right away so I nudged him discretely.

"Erren can dance with you. My back is hurting, actually." I lied. Erren laughed and shook his head.

"Maybe you should take it a bit easy in the bedroom. You can get serious injuries." he joked and patted me on the back.

"Fuck you." I whispered and took a sip of my margarita.

"Don't say things like that aloud. You should be happy that John didn't hear that." said Ivan. Ivan didn't usually say that much. He just were there, but never made himself heard so his comment made us all stare at him with open mouths.

Erren didn't respond and I got a bit weirded out. I had to put an end to this, John wouldn't care about if Erren joked sometimes about our sexlife. He wasn't a murderer or something like they made it sound like sometimes.

I cleared my troath and locked eyes with Ivan.

"You don't have to take it so hard, Ivan. I didn't and the joke was on me." I smiled afterwards, to indicate I didn't want any heated argument.

He stared at me, like I was stupid. He often did. But it never had been a problem until now.

"I didn't ask him to shut up for you, I did it for him." he simply said and leaned back in the couch.

I tried to lock eyes with Erren but he ignored me, and rolled a cigarette. I exhaled deeply and scratched my head irritaded.

"I think it is quite okay, Ivan. It's not like John would harm him for something so simply as a joke."

He rolled his eyes and got up on his feet.

"Come on, Georg. We got work to do." he said and Georg got to his feet to. Georg smiled at me, he looked a bit sad. Like he wanted to apologize for Ivan's behaviour. And then they left the table and went back where John had walked in earlier. Calina scooted closer to me and gave Erren an worried look.

"Are you okay, honey?" she asked me and put her arm around my neck. I shrugged and took another sip of my drink.

"Don't care about him. He is just bitter." Erren said and gave me a warm smile. I straightened myself up and shook my head.

"It is okay, I don't care about him." I lied just to make them stop worrying. A night with drama wasn't a night I wanted to be a part of. I just had to make the best out of the situation.

"Are you serious?!" Calina yelled happily when I asked her if she wanted to dance. John had been in there now for about one and a half hour. I had purchased drink after drink, I was on my fourth now and the alcohol started to show itself.

"Of course, let's do it." I said and stood up a little bit to fast. I got dizzy and stumbled out from the table to the dancefloor with Calina and Erren after me.

We took place at the dancefloor and started swinging our hips. This type of music, a bit hardstyle-ish wasn't really my cup of tea but I didn't care at the moment. The music got into me and made me forget all about everything. It embraced me with such love a mother has to her child.

I laughed at Erren's moves, or whatever it was. He was swinging his arms in the air and jumped up and down. He reminded me of a excited child.

I felt a tender hand on my shoulder so I swung myself around on my heels, standing face to chest with John. I wasn't that short but John was so tall so even I looked small beside him. He had an callous expression on his face as always.

"We need to get going." he said particularly. I nodded and turned around to say my goodbyes to Erren and Calina.

"This sucks." Calina said when I hugged her.

"Yeah, but duty calls for miss Burton, you know." Erren said and shook my hand. He never hugged me when John was in the room. I had asked him about it and he just said that it was a guy thing. That you just don't get touchy with your friends girl. I told him that it wasn't to get touchy to hug someone hello or goodbye. And I also told him that I wasn't really sure on the thing about me being his 'girl' because I wasn't, or was I? I had no idea what we stood in that. After four months I could totally say that I love him. But I have never done it and neither has he. We did all the things that normal couples did. We went out on dates, we had movie nights (has only happened once though..) he gives me flowers and jewelry, we kissed in public, has really fun together and we have a lot of romantic and passionate sex. Well, the last was in my opinion. I didn't know how he felt about that part either.

I have never met his parents and he has never met mine. That was the thing that stood out the most I guess but when I turned eighteen I got an apartment of my own so now, three years later my parents hadn't so much influence over me. I did as I wished to do. They knew about him, I've told my big sister about him. How I felt for him. But nothing more since I don't want to reveal to much. She didn't try to figure out more than I told her. She knows how I work, I will tell her when the time comes if I want to. We had that kind of relationship and I loved it, it was as easy as it needed to be.

We got into John's car and drove out of Sweetest Poison's crammed parking lot. It was always a lot of people here on wednesdays and fridays but this was hoards of people and cars. If I was alone I would probably never have been able to find the car.

I leered at him discreetly but he noticed it and leered at me. He didn't say anything, he just stared at me like he was waiting for me to turn my gaze down.

"Are you okay?" I asked a bit worried. He always used to smile at me when he caught me looking at him.

"Why wouldn't I be?" he asked me back, still wearing a callous expression. I shrugged.

"I don't know, that's why I asked." I answered, putting a hand on his thigh.

"I'm just fine, dear." he said curtly. It felt like it was something going on and I didn't how I would get it out of him. Nagging wasn't an option. Last time I nagged at him when I wanted him to go to the movies with me was something I regreted instantly when I got his reaction. He hates nagging. Well, who doesn't? But I mean, he really hates it. You'll make him furious and he is kind of scary when he is.

"Are we going to my place or yours?" I asked gently and smiling a bit nervously.

"Mine." I nodded at his answer. I liked to be at his place, it was big, fancy and smelled so good. Everything smelled like him and he smelled so wonderful. Just thinking about it made me blush. I was so silly.

When we finally got inside his apartment I went straight for the bed. We sat in traffic jams for nearly an half hour and now I was so tired because the buzz from the alcohol had gotten out of me. I took of my clothes, gave away a big yawn and jumped under the covers when John got into the bedroom, smirking secretively at me.

"What is it, John?" he smirked even bigger.

"You are so beautiful, do you know that?" He said and started to button up his blue shirt. I started to blush heavily. I always blushed when it came to this, seeing him in his full grace. It was a wonderful sight and I guess that's what made me react like I did.

He stripped out of the shirt, exposing his six pack and muscular biceps. He looked like he was carved out of stone. Everything looked so perfect. He got to his pants, unzipped them and stripped out of them to, now wearing nothing but white briefs. His eyes caught mine, butterflies started to circulate in my stomach.

"Sleep tight, love." he said and went into the bathroom who connected with the bedroom. He left the door open so I had an full view of the shower which he got into after he undressed completely.

He turned the water on and it poured over his muscular back, the muscles flexed wonderfully when he wetted his hair by dragging his fingers through it.

He was teasing me. He knew how attractive he was. He knew how attractive _I_ thought he was. He also knew that he could get any women he wanted and in my opinion it made it all even more sexier.

He soaped himself and let the water pour down all over his body. I was so turned on so I could drool. On second thought, I already did.

He got out of the shower and dried himself with a blue towel and when he was done he wrapped it around his waist. He walked out of the bathroom, his eyes locked with mine the whole time. I had already forgot about earlier, about what was bugging him.

He let the towel drop to the floor as he got under the covers with me. I scooted to the other side to give him place since that side was his favourite.

He caressed my cheek and kissed my lips softly, not putting to much pressure into it. Just like I liked it. Ever so softly he positioned himself between my legs and I responded to it by holding his naked, warm body closer to me. I wanted him even closer and I wanted it now. I needed it.

I gave away a small moan as he left a trail of kisses on my neck. I got goosebumps over my entire body.

He kissed me again before he sat up on his knees so he could undo my bra. When he got the clasp open and the bra had been discarded somewhere on the floor, he took one of my breasts in his hand and massaged it carefully but enjoyable. I moaned again in approvement and captured his soft lips with mine, kissing him hard.

He let out a small laugh and went for my panties. He practically tore them of off me. He was as turned on as me and he needed me as much as I needed him. He locked eyes with me as the panties was discarded too and then he started to stroke my vagina exactly the way I loved. I closed my eyes hard and bit my lower lip in pleasure.

After a while he pushed two fingers inside of me to stretch me out a bit before he pushed himself into me and now my moans came with smaller gaps. It turned him on even more, I could feel his hard erection against my inner thigh. I had enough. I couldn't stand it anymore. It almost hurts to be this turned on and being teased.

"Please." I begged, breathing hard. He smirked at me and did as I wished. He positioned himself before my entrance and pushed himself in, bit by bit.

I was speechless, my mouth slight agape. I wasn't any good words to describe how pleasurably it was. Of course it did hurt too, but it was a form of pleasure too. It felt good to be filled to the hilt.

When his hips met mine both of us gave away moans full of pleasure. And I kept moaning when his hips met mine over and over again. He felt so good.

He kissed my lips occasionally and I captured his with as much passion as I could bestow.

"Oh my god, baby." I moaned into his ear and pushing him deeper inside me with my legs.

I was so close, it was like it tickled inside of my stomach. I loved him so much. It was both the pleasure and the love. It was an amazing feeling when someone you loved made you come like he did.

I couldn't keep it in anymore, my legs shook like hell. My voice even started to quake.

And I came, violently. I grasped after his body, wanted more friction. I moaned loudly, and somewhere in between I said his name a few times.

Not long after me, he came with a deep and low groan, almost like an growl. He looked me in the eyes, and kissed me hard.

Both of us were pretty out of breath afterwards. I felt more tired than before. I cuddled up against him, my head on his warm sweaty chest. He patted me on the back, drawing circles on my skin. It made me very calm and my eyelids started to get heavy.

"You are amazing." I whispered with a little smile on my lips. He chuckled deeply.

"You are not so bad either, dear."


	5. I See You

The line was so long and it took ages for it to move forward. I've had stood here for nearly an hour. An hour! It felt as if I would freeze to death since I only was wearing a dress with no cardigan or anything. It was cold outside, so that was a stupid move. Way to go, Sherry. Didn't you listened to what mom told you about it being cold and keeping yourself warm? I laughed at my thoughts. My mom didn't tell me much. She didn't had any time for me when I grew up and she died, leaving me alone. Mom dying did hurt me more than dad dying. She wasn't mean to me as he was. She cared even if she didn't had the time to show it. Dad didn't care. He was trying to kill me for god sake.

I felt desperate to get in. I needed to know who that girl was, I could bet my life on that I knew her somehow and I had the strangest urge that kept me going even if it was dangerous. I mean, if John saw me, he might figure out what I was doing since this place wasn't a place for an american law rider. With all my make up and the dress, I could have get passed as a russian but only as long as I didn't open my mouth.

When I got into the club I immediately started to warm up, it was so hot in there. No wonder, it was people almost everywhere. How would I be able to get close enough to the girl?

I had to use my elbows to get forward to the bar. I needed a drink in my hand so it at least would look like I was there on other purposes than I was.

I purchased a beer and walked to one of the empty tables near the bar. I sat down and tried to look as comfortable as I could, like I used to do this a lot. I discretely tried to look around the dancefloor in front of me and out in the back but I couldn't see any of them. Maybe if I got out on the dancefloor I would see them? I decided that it was my best shot even if I was really lousy at dancing. It hopefully would be worth it afterwards.

I walked slowly but with as much confidence as I could up to the dancefloor and when I got up there I started to swing my hips a bit. It wasn't maybe really dancing but it was the best I could come up with. My eyes darted over the floor, but I still didn't see any of them. I was so concentrated so I barely didn't notice the guy who almost danced into me.

"Izvinite!" he exclaimed and patted me on my shoulder.

I stared at him, I didn't had a clue what he just had said. He could have said anything so I didn't dare to answer. He seemed to perceive that I wasn't russian.

"I am sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you." he said in english with just a small, small russian accent and smiled apologetically at me.

I nodded and laughed a bit.

"No worries, no worries! I'm just fine, you didn't hurt me!" I yelled to be heard over the loud pumping music.

He smiled genuinely at me, showing of a pair of white teeth. He wore a black shirt and black jeans. He didn't look as the most guys looked like here.

"Let me buy you a drink as an apology." he said and it didn't sound like a question rather more like a statement. He was very handsome and any other night I would happily let him seduce me but tonight wasn't the best night. I had a mission that I needed to fulfill. I really needed it to continue living like a did before all of this, I hoped to get some closure.

"I already have one but thank you for your kindness." I said with a smile and raised the hand I hold the beer in.

"I don't take no for an answer. A beautiful women like you need something fancier than a beer." I blushed at his compliment. He had already seduced me without me even noticing it. Way to go, Sherry. But then I had an idea. I could use this to my advantage. He could be my cover so no one would notice anything. He maybe even could get me some answers as long as I knew how to ask them. I didn't know if he knew John so I had to choose my words.

I nodded at him and took his hand. He lead me to the bar and discarded of my full beer on one of the bar tables.

"I know exactly what you would like." he said and went over to the bartender and ordered something in russian.

After a while he came back with a drink who had a red or was it pink? Pink/red colour I would say that the drank had. It looked a bit suspicious. But I decided to take it at least.

"Thank you." I said with a smile and accepted the drink. He stared at me for a while with his green eyes, he probably waited for me to take a sip but I didn't dare to. It could be anything in there.

He chuckled deeply and shook his head.

"I have not spiked the drink with drugs or anything. I promise." he said and took the drink from my hands. "I can prove it, look." he said and took a big sip and swallowed proudly.

"It is the tastiest drink there is, try it." he said and handed me the glass. I accepted it and took a sip too. It did taste good. Oh my god. It tasted so god, it felt like my tongue danced in my mouth.

"Oh my god." I said. He laughed approvingly.

"Let's sit down." he suggested and took my hand, leading me to one of the tables beside the bar who had a perfect view of the dancefloor.

We sat down and he started telling me about what the drink featured. It was vanilla, strawberries and mango. Strawberries was my absolute favorite.

He picked up his phone and started writing on it. It seemed like he didn't wanted me to see what he wrote since he obscured the view with his hand. I just sat there and waited for him to be done.

When he was done he put his arm around my neck and smiled at me.

"I haven't introduced myself yet." he stroked my cheek slowly. "My name is Alexis Chabarov." He took my hand in his and lowered his lips to it and kissed it softly. I blushed heavily and giggled a bit. I mentally slapped myself. I sounded so silly, like a schoolgirl.

"I am Sherry Birkin." I said and took a sip of the drink. The taste absorbing my whole mouth. It felt like heaven. He looked me in the eyes carefully. Like he was studying me for something. Maybe if I lied. It was weird. Why would he do that? Maybe he has met girls who has lied to him before and now he has started to get suspicious about it.

"American." he said. "What brings you here to this club?" he asked, and watched me carefully.

"I've heard that this club is good so I decided to get my ass out of the sofa and get over here." He chuckled a bit and let his arm down from me.

I let my eyes wander over the dancefloor and I saw the girl and two of her friends making their way onto it. I tried to see what she looked like but one of her friends blocked my sight. I needed to get closer, much closer, and I knew exactly what I needed to do.

"Excuse me, I really need to go to the bathroom. Wait here for me, will you?" I asked. He smiled warmly and nodded.

"Of course I will. I will not let you go that easily." he chuckled. I blushed and headed over the dancefloor to the other side where I will have a perfect view.

I elbowed my way forward, there were more people here now than when I got in. When I got to the other side I checked my surroundings for John. I really didn't want him to find me or even see me. It could get ugly or just embarrassing.

I saw them, dance and laughing. The girl's beautiful blonde hair floated around here when she swung from side to side. She didn't turn around so I had to get more to the right, but if I did that, Alexis would be able to see me. The table had a perfect view over where I needed to be standing. I decided that I was going to take a quick look and then hurry to Alexis, if I was lucky I could get away without Alexis noticing it. If he did notice, I could just come up with an excuse that I thought she was someone I knew but turned out to not be. Easy peasy.

I hurried over to the right, almost stumbling on my own feet. I stopped in my tracks and turned my head to where they were dancing.

She had a big smile, plump pink lips and a small pretty nose. She had round cheeks and big brown eyes. I recognized her, I did. But I just couldn't put my finger on it. Maybe she was some friend of mine sisters husbands kid or something. It drove me insane. Why couldn't I figure it out?

I turned around and was just about to get going back to Alexis but what I saw made me froze. Alexis sat just where I left him. But John was standing next to him. He was talking to him and Alexis seem to be answering him very respectfully. He seemed a bit intimidated by him.

John nodded and then he turned around and locked eyes with me for a couple of seconds. I just stood like I was glued to the floor, unable to move.

He cocked his head and smirked mockingly at me. _He knew._ I panicked but was still unable to move. He just stood there, on the other side of the dancefloor, staring at me. Smirking like that.

He shook his head slowly at me, and begun to walk towards me, ever so slowly. My instincts kicked in and I ran. I ran out of the club and towards my car on the parking lot.

I jumped into my car and hit the brakes as fast as I could. I needed to get out of there. Now.

The brakes shrieked when I drove out of there and out into the traffic. I was so afraid, if it was true, the information in the letter, I was fucked. He was going to kill me.

I decided that I shouldn't be going home, if I was being followed I didn't want to roll out the red carpet for them. I could go to a diner. Sophie's Diner would be perfect. There were a lot of cops there this time of the night.

I steered my way towards the diner, and got caught in the middle of a traffic jam. I punched my steering wheel angrily. I didn't have time for this! What if they followed me and just were sitting in a car not far from me and loading their guns. Maybe Tyler was right. It seemed like I couldn't handle anything about this. I was acting irrationally. I was doing things I never would have done before. I was careless. Careless and stupid. Who tell hell goes after someone they don't even know? Someone they have only found out things about through someone sending you a letter. Someone unknown.

I cursed myself for being unprofessional. It could cost me my life and I knew it.

After nearly thirty minutes the traffic started to move and I steered my car towards the diner, it only took about a quarter to get there.

I locked my car and walked over the half full parking lot and I saw two police cars. It made me feel a little bit safe. But still not enough. Not as it should.

I opened the door into the warm diner and took a seat in the back row where it was pretty empty.

The waitress, a woman in her forties maybe, with long black hair, took my order. I ordered a coke and it came right up.

I opened the can and took a took a sip of it. My head started to act irrationally. The picture of the old man in the chair who had had his neck snapped appeared over and over again.

 _He is going to get you, you know that, don't you?_ I shivered and shook my head.

 _He is going to snap your neck like it was a toothpick. You have no chance._

I shook my head again and took another sip of the coke. In the corner of my eye I saw one of the customers staring at me with worry. I stared back as a warning for her to stop staring. I could handle myself. _Apparently not, Sherry. You are sitting in a cheap diner and worrying about someone you don't even know anything about. You don't even know if he is dangerous. You don't know anything, why do you even think he is coming after you? Because he stared at you? Of course he did you dumb cunt. He could've been surprised to see you since you stood outside his apartment complex earlier._

I groaned loudly when I felt a headache appearing. I took a third sip of the coke and massaged my temples.

I had to stop this before I got insane. It was fine, I was overreacting. Overreacting dramatically. I laughed at myself. I was so stupid. Of course he stared at you because he was surprised to see you there since you two met earlier. He probably shook his head because it was surreal. That has to be it. I've been here in the diner for probably twenty minutes and nobody has been coming in here waving a gun.

How did I become so scared? I used to be so tough. I survived Raccoon City for god sake! Without ending up in the looney bin. I survived because I am a survivor.

But everything about Renko made me so scared. Men like that was capable of pain beyond anything a human being could understand. And John. I still didn't know if he even was a bad man. Maybe he wasn't at all. He could be framed by someone who wanted his life to be like hell but the problem wasn't that. I was afraid of the unknown. Afraid that he could be just as sick as his father was. Capable of the same things as his father was. And that was for sure, that he was Wesker's son. The similarity wasn't a coincidence, that was impossible.

When I was little I was so scared of Wesker. He was like the big bad monster who was hiding under the bed. Everything about him made me shiver. Especially how he used to yell at me when I was bored and ran in the halls of the Umbrella Facility just outside of Raccoon. I mean, come on. I was a kid. He could have pointed me in the right direction by telling me that it wasn't the best thing to do and that I should go back to my room. I would've accepted that. But he yelled at me, he said such cruel words. Such words which burns into your mind. He told me I always was in the way of my fathers greatness. He also told me that he had overheard my mother and father talking about giving me away to someone else who wanted me because they didn't. Imagine hearing that from an adult when you were about ten years old. He got what he wanted anyway, me out of the corridors and out of his way. After that last time, I kept myself in my room for an entire year. Not leaving except for food or if I needing to use the bathroom. It was so cruel. That man didn't have a heart. It was just a black hole in the place where his heart should be.

And it kept me wondering who this Lena Dorner was to him. How had they met? Had he loved her back in the eighties? Had she loved him? Or was it just a one night stand who turned out in a pregnancy and Wesker running as fast as he could away from there and her because he was a coward. Then it hit me. Did John knew who he was?

I drank the last of my coke and got out to the parking lot. I had been in there for nearly an hour, just thinking about everything. I needed it so I felt so much better now.

I got behind the steering wheel and drove the twenty minute ride home in peace. I was calm now and I tried to not think about this that much. I had decided to go with the letter and everything in it to the office tomorrow. I had decided to leave it alone before I drove myself insane. Because that was what was going to happen if I didn't stop.

I parked my car in the parking lot outside of my apartment complex and locked it. My neighbor mrs Conzula was just heading out with her dog, Bernie. We said hello in the opening into the building, and I petted Bernie. He was such a sweet dog and mrs Conzula was such a sweet lady. When I was a newcomer here she baked cinnamon buns and gave them to me as a welcoming gift. I invited her inside and we talked almost all night about our lives.

I got into the elevator and it took me up to my floor. I walked out of the elevator and over to my door who was right beside it. I locked my door up and got in, locking the door behind me. I walked across the living room to the light switcher and switched it on. I put my bag down and went into the bathroom.

I reached for my make up remover when I heard the wooden boards behind me creek like it was someone putting weight on them. I swung around and was greeted by a gloved hand on my mouth. I breathed heavily and locked eyes with the burglar.

"You are going to keep quiet or else I will do things who aren't necessary. So, be a good girl." John said firmly. I nodded, scared for my life. What was he doing here? I thought.. I didn't even know anymore what I thought. Everything slapped me in the face.

He led me into the living room and forced me to sit on the couch. His hand disappeared from my mouth but he pointed his finger at me and shushed me. If I didn't were quiet he would hurt me bad. That was what he said, but with different words.

He paced back and forth, he looked angry and irritated. And suddenly he stopped and grabbed one of my chairs from my dining table and positioned it in front of me. He glared at me and then he sat down, hands clenched in his lap. He looked relaxed now, but the way he clenched his fists told me he wasn't. He probably wanted to punch me in the face.

"You have been watching me." he stated, trying to lock his eyes with mine but I refused. I stared at my hands, scared. I didn't know if I would survive the night.

"Answer me!" he exclaimed suddenly, making me jump.

"Yes." I answered truthfully and dared to look at him. He nodded and smirked big. He had dimples. I almost lost myself in his beauty but I came back to reality when he cleared his throat.

He stared at me with annoyance. His eyes so cold as a pair of eyes possible can be. I couldn't tell if he had his fathers eyes, he definitely didn't have his mothers warm, green ones though, but since I never had seen Wesker's eyes, it was hard for me to tell.

"What do you want from me, Sherry Birkin?" he asked, with a mocking pronunciation at my name. I barely didn't know what I wanted. Right now I wanted for him to leave me alone because he scared the hell out of me. I had to come up with something to say.

"Do you know who you are?" I asked, trying to make him see that I wasn't a threat by smiling a little. He sneered at me by chuckling deeply, shaking his head.

"I don't think anybody know that for sure, but if you mean it like I assume you do so, yes I do." he answered. I swallowed hard. I didn't expect it. I really didn't.

"I.." I begun but I didn't find the words. He chuckled again deeply, sinisterly.

"I know exactly who you are, I know everything worth knowing about you. I looked you up after I saw you outside my apartment. I knew right away it was me you were looking for. If you would be smart you wouldn't believe you could lie to a professional and get away with it."

I decided that I would keep the letter unknown to him. He didn't need to know about that. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat.

"Who told you where I live and where I would be tonight?" he asked me calmly but his eyes were fierce.

"Someone emailed me two addresses and told me that Albert Wesker's son was involved in the case i'm working on." I lied, never taking my eyes of off his.

"Let me see the email." he demanded firmly.

"I deleted it." I answered a little bit to fast. He laughed to himself and in an blink of an eye he grabbed me by the throat. I gasped for air, my eyes watering.

"Do not lie to me. It will cost you your life. Understood?" I nodded hard and he threw me back in the couch, not affected at all by the fact that he almost choked me to death.

"Who told you were I live and where I would be tonight?" he repeated. I didn't want to tell him the truth, since those papers and pictures were needed by the police. But I still didn't want to be choked to death now only for him to figure out about the letter later. I didn't have a chance. He was like a ninja. He got into my apartment without actually breaking in. I didn't even knew how he got in. The door was locked and I only had one key for the apartment so it was impossible for him to get his hands on a key. Or was it?

"In the top drawer in my desk." I said exhausted.

"Go and get it, then." he answered. I did as I was told and got to my feet and hurried over to my desk, took out the brown letter and then got out to the living room again. I handed him the letter and sat down once again.

He opened it and explored through the content. He didn't seemed surprised at anything. He put the content back when he was done and tucked it in his inside pocket of his black jacket.

"I once again ask you who it was who gave you this information?" he asked, he sounded out of patient.

"I actually don't know that. The letter arrived in my mailbox just like that. No sender or anything." I said truthfully. I waited for him to grab me by the throat again but he didn't. He didn't move at all. He was nodding slowly, watching me carefully.

"I don't ever want to see you outside my home again. I never want you to look me up ever again. Do you understand? I do not care that your father was a great friend of my fathers. You mean nothing to me and I want it that way." he said and was ready to leave. I didn't think we were done with each other.

"You don't have to be like this, John. What your father did has nothing to do with you. You don't have to follow his footsteps." I almost pleaded.

"I am nothing like him. I am not trying to change the world and the humanity. I take care of myself. I don't care about anyone else." I got the feeling that he wasn't honest with me. His eyes screamed of vulnerability when his body acted like it was confident. How about the blonde girl? They seemed oddly close to each other, they had walked so close to each other on the parking lot. She had been looking so happy. It had to be something.

"Then who was that blonde girl at the club earlier if you don't care about anyone but yourself?" I asked. His eyes fired up fiercely. It looked like he was about to chop me in pieces and throw me to the wolves.

He grabbed my hair and threw me onto the floor with a loud bang. I groaned at the pain in my left side. He seated himself on top of me and grabbed me by the throat. I gasped for air once again, trying to pry him of off me. I tried to claw him in the face, punch him in the chest, in the stomach. But he acted like it didn't even feel anything. My eyes widened when my heart started to beat faster, filling me with adrenaline. I punched him hard in the throat and it made him let go of mine. He growled angrily at me, but he never let go of me entirely. He was still over me.

He touched the skin on his throat, massaging it a bit. He locked eyes with me for just a second or so. And then he punched me hard, right in the face. It did hurt like hell. I held my cheekbone where his fist collided and howled with pain.

"She has nothing to do with any of this." he stated and got of off me. I got why he reacted as he did. He wasn't afraid of me hurting her. He knew I was a cop. He was afraid of her finding out who he really was. I didn't see it earlier but now I saw it as clearly as the day. He stood over me, watching me.

"I just wondered!" I exclaimed and got up on my feet. "I think I know her, I don't know from where exactly." I said honestly. John took a few steps forward. He was now standing right in front of me, just the size of a finger between us.

"She has nothing to do with this. If you get her involved, cop cunt." he paused for a bit, letting me process the words. "I will kill you." His eyes burned with hate. I didn't answer, I just stared at him. I was afraid of him but there was something inside of me who couldn't get my eyes of off him. Even when he stared at me like he did and just had threatened me I couldn't help myself but to admire his face, how well structured it was. The skin totally perfect, he had some stubble on his jaw but it was so light and so little. But it made him look a little bit rougher. He was sexy.

I mentally slapped myself, really hard. What the fuck, Sherry?! My mind screamed at me. He is a sociopath, he just tried to kill you and you are standing here, admiring his fucking face? Are you fucking retarded? Are you some kind of a pathetic schoolgirl? Huh?! But still, my eyes wandered over his face, sucking the beauty in. I think he noticed it, but he didn't bother to question me. It probably wasn't the first time a woman looked at him like this.

"I never want to see you on my radar again." he said and stepped away from me, towards the door.

"If you don't stop Renko, even you will be sorry!" I exclaimed after him. I caught his attention for a while, but just for a while. He smirked at me, not mockingly, just a normal smirk. Well, it was not like any smirk I've ever seen before. It made my body tingle.

He didn't answer me, it was just that smirk and then he turned around and disappeared out the door.

I sank to the floor. Oh my god. What was that? Why did my body react like that when it should react with disgust and despise. Well the weird thing was, I was reacting with disgust and despise too. It was all at the same time. I was attracted to him.

And that night I dreamt of him. Of us and one big meadow. There was just him and me. It was his lips and mine, like sewn together. Our bodies, naked, warm and sweaty, intertwined. The meadow, warm, filled with beautiful flowers. His smirk, my eyes admiring him. But there was someone else there out of the sudden. It was a girl. She had a maxi dress on and was walking slowly against us. John got of off me and beg for forgiveness to the girl. She looked like an angel. The closer she got the more beautiful I saw that she was. Her blonde hair almost floating around her shoulders, glittering in the sun. She smiled at me, showing of a pair of white teeth. Her big brown eyes so warm, it felt like they were embracing me. There was something with her. She leaned in, so close to my face. "It is okay, I can feel it too." she whispered.

I woke up with a jolt. Like I've been shot. It felt like it. Now I knew who she was. Oh my god. How didn't I recognize it earlier. It was Barry Burton's youngest daughter, Polly.


	6. Do Not Ever Leave Me

I woke up in the middle of the night in the warm, kingsized bed. It took me a while to understand where I was. I smiled and stretched out my arm to the other side of the bed where John was suppose to be sleeping. But he wasn't. His side was empty and cold. I sat up in the bed and looked around in the room for him but I didn't see him nor did I see him in the bathroom.

"John?" I called out but I got no answer. Where the hell could he be? It was nearly ten in four in the morning so I decided to get out of the bed and go and look for him. The apartment was huge, he could be anywhere.

I wrapped the covers around my body and got up, walking towards the living room. It was empty as I feared. I peeked around the corner beside the sofa where his office was, but the door stood ajar and it was empty.

I heard the front door unlock and someone walking in as quietly as they could. I started to get shivers down my spine. What if it wasn't him? I grew some balls and decided to go and find out. I tiptoed in to the bedroom and found John standing in the opening to the bathroom, taking his clothes off.

"Where have you been?" I asked suspiciously. He stopped in his movements and turned around to face me.

"I started to wonder where you were." he said with a smile. I raised an eyebrow at him.

" _You_ started to wonder? I was just looking for you. I woke up like five minutes ago and you weren't here." I said defensively. He nodded.

"I was out for a walk, I couldn't sleep." he explained. I was still standing in the doorway of the bedroom and I wasn't convinced. I was a bit jealous and I were always on my watch. I had a couple of guys before John and some of them cheated on me. In fact the majority of them cheated on me. I still don't know what it was I was doing to deserve that.

We weren't really a couple of course, or we are, or.. I don't know. We haven't made that clear. All I know was that I truly love him. More than I ever loved anybody before. I didn't know if he felt the same for me, I felt something between us every time we were close to each other but that didn't mean it really was something. It was really confusing.

He locked eyes with me, his stare tender. He could see that something was up but I didn't want to bother him. If we weren't a couple I didn't have any right to question him.

"What?" he asked, discarding his pants onto the floor.

"It's nothing. I was just worried." I lied. He saw right through me. I've been told that I was like an open book. Free for everybody to read my emotions whenever they wanted to.

"Tell me." he said and was walking over to the bed and got under the covers. I just shrugged and started fiddling with my hair. He exhaled deeply and stretched out his arm to me and made a gesture with his hand to make me come to him. I walked over to the bed and lied down in it, unwrapping the covers of off me and pulled them over me for warmth. I didn't like this. It made me feel weird. I didn't know how to ask him either about it and I absolutely didn't know how to ask him about us, what he felt about me and everything. What if he didn't feel anything? What if he would tell me that I wasn't anything more than his private play toy? It would break my heart into a million pieces, slowly and painfully.

I was lying on my back, staring up at the roof. I could feel the bed creek when he scooted closer to me, leaning his chin on his hand. He just looked at me for a while, I could see it in the corner of my eye.

"Polly, what is the problem?" he asked and I exhaled deeply, shaking my head.

"Yes, there is something and I want you to share it with me." he was very determined on getting it out of me. He touched my cheek carefully, caressing it. He tried to put me into comfort.

"Were you with another girl?" I asked, not daring to look him in the eye. It could be very rude to be asking a thing like that if he was innocent, but I would never know if he was innocent if I didn't asked, right? He didn't answer me and the longer he was quiet the more my heart started to sink into the depths of hell. It felt like I was going to throw up.

"Polly." he said softly. I glanced cautiously in his direction. He shook his head slowly.

"Never." he then said, putting my misery to an end. He pulled me towards him softly. He captured my lips with his, kissing me passionately.

It was so much feelings, tears were running down my cheeks. I also felt relived. He held my cheeks in his big hands, looking me in the eyes. He smiled and kissed me again.

"Don't cry." he pleaded, kissing me again and one time more.

"I can't help it." I said, leaning into his embrace. He just held me in his arms until I fell asleep.

I woke up with a headache from hell. I literally felt like my head was going to explode any minute now. I groaned loudly and reached for my phone at the bedside table. I got one new text message. It was from John explaining he got to get to his work. He wasn't only a drug dealer of course. He told me it would look suspicious if a man without a known profession had a lot of money and an apartment on upper east side. When he started with his illegal affairs a while ago he decided to start a business with Ivan. So they did. Erren and Calina also worked there but as employees and not managers. A business which sold ventilations and also offered installation of it, so they decided for Hobb's Ventilation and Installation. Pretty american, right? Nothing that stood out really. And who is Hobb? No one actually just some american-ish last name they said when I asked. And that was true, kind of, it didn't stood out that much which was good.

I was busy with my favorite hobby, painting, when my phone started ringing on the other side of the living room. I grunted and decided to ignore it. I was busy and didn't want to get disturbed, when I got inspired I didn't want anything to destroy it and since John had bought me an easel, I should do something with it.

I continued to paint the couple who was supposed to be watching a sundown when the painting was done. The phone kept ringing, three times. Who the hell could it be who was this persistent? I went over to the coffee table my phone was laying on and picked it up, checking who it was before I answered. Moira? What could she possibly be this persistent about?

"What?" I answered with a hint of irritation in my voice.

"Jesus. Fucking. Christ. Polly! Do you know how many times I've been trying to reach you?" she asked.

"Yes, I heard. But I'm working on a painting so I didn't pay that much attention to it."

"Yeah yeah, there is a reason I've been trying to reach you. Claire's luggage was delayed, we should have been out of the airport for like three hours ago!" she said furiously. "Go on." I said before she got way into that matter.

"Yeah, dad should've picked us up but he had to leave an hour ago because he and mom are invited to uncle Carl's dinner party, you know? And me and Claire have been calling everybody but no one can spare themselves some decency and pick us up! Please, please, please, can you pick us up? I'll pay you whatever you want, I just want to get the hell out of here!" She did sound very desperate. But I still didn't have any car. Not one of my own at least, my little scrap heap was at home since John picked me up last night and to walk home to get the car was a big no no. I would take the whole freaking day since I didn't really lived in this fancier neighborhoods. The bus line didn't go all the way, I would have to change between one subway and two busses and that would approximately take about four hours.

"Sorry sis, I don't have any car. If I did I would've picked you up right away, you know that." I said ashamed. She was quiet for a while. Like she didn't believe me.

"Are you kidding me? Where the hell has happened to your car?!" she almost yelled at me. I could hear Claire in the background trying to calm her down.

"Nothing, I am just not home. John picked me up last night with his car and I stayed the night here." I explained hastily.

"Can't you borrow his car, then? Please, I'm going insane here." I thought about it for a while. I knew he had three vehicles. The one that he usually drives, the BMW. The Ferrari that he bought just because he always wanted to own one and the magnificent white Porsche which was the first car he bought here in the US, maybe he was getting homesick and needed to buy something that reminded him of Germany? I laughed at the thought mentally. I wasn't sure he would let me borrow one of them. He would probably let me borrow the BMW, but the luxury cars.. I'm not so sure.

"Eh, Moira, I'm not so sure. He isn't even at home and..."

"I seriously don't want to hear any whitewash, okay? Just ask him. I'm your sister for god sake. I would never let you rot on a fucking airport for hours." she interrupted.

She was harsh but she had a point. She would come running for me right away.

''I will give it a shot but I can't promise you anything, okay?"

"Thank you! You are the best!" she yelled before she hung up on me. Now she would get very mad if I didn't come. If John said no then I couldn't do anything about it. I would never steal the keys and go anyway, that was breaking down the confidence he had in me.

I stared at my phone for a while. It was really silly but I was scared of asking so much of him. It would be so embarrassing if he just turned me down angrily. But I would give it ago for Moira.

I dialed his number and put the phone to my ear anxiously. It didn't took him long to answer, just a few beeps.

"What might it be that honors me with your call?" he said mockingly. I never used to call him at work since he told me not to do it unless it was anything serious.

"Hey, baby! I just wondered if you could do me a favor, like, sort of?" I said, the anxiousness really reeked. It was no way he couldn't have heard it and besides, I've never called him baby before in the everyday life. Only when we're having sex. My face turned completely red at the thought and I was just so happy that he wasn't able to see it.

"Depends on what?" he said curiously.

"Well, my sister and her friend is stuck at the airport and no one is nice enough to pick them up so she turned to me, and I don't have my car here, so, I.." he interrupted me too, just like Moira did not long ago. I didn't liked to be interrupted.

"You want to borrow a car?" he asked callously.

"Yeah." I breathed, holding my thumbs for luck.

"Don't be afraid of asking me favors." he just simply said, not answering the former question.

"What?"

"Your voice is shaking and you are trembling over the words. It makes me sad, Polly. Are you scared of me?"

"What? No, of course not! I just don't like to ask someone if I can borrow a really _expensive_ car." I said shockingly. Why would I be scared of him? I love him, with all my fucking heart.

"I was making a joke, my love. And of course you can borrow a car, the keys are in the bowl beside the front door." he purred. I got tongue tied for a bit. Did he just call me 'my love'? It started to tingle in my stomach and my cheeks flushed.

"I would suggest you to take the Porsche, since it has four seats and the Ferrari unfortunately only has two."

"Oh my god. Thank you so much, baby." Oh lord, I said it again without even thinking about it. My cheeks got flushed again.

"No problem at all." he said and then we hanged up.

I hurried over to the bowl beside the front door, I searched for the keychain with the Porsche mark on it. I found it quite right away and then I went down to his garage who was on level B2.

The elevator took me all the way down and when the female voice told me it was level B2 I got out of it.

It was so cold down here, probably because it was underground. First I had to go through a large metal door which would lead me to his private garage and I found it right away, just because it wasn't that long ago he showed me his cars and that was something I didn't forget.

I unlocked the majestic car and got into it but I didn't start it. I just wanted to feel the feeling of pure luxury. The car smelled like new and he had had it for a couple of years. Everything looked so damn fine. I almost got jealous of him. But he had been working hard to afford it.

I fired up the engine and it started with a roar. It was amazing, I got goosebumps all over my body. I would give almost anything to be driving a car like this on a daily basis instead of my piece of shit car I bought when I was seventeen. I drove upward to the surface and got met by the autumn sun. It was a warm day, warmer than it had been in the last couple of weeks.

I parked the car on the airports parking lot and got out of the car to see where Moira and Claire was. I saw them a bit away from me with a lot of bags around them, Moira sat on the biggest one of them, looking exhausted.

I got into the car and drove up to them, thinking that would be the nicest thing to do since they had a lot of bags.

Both of them had confused smiles on their lips when I stopped beside them with the car. The car had tinted glass so they weren't able to see me. I rolled down one of the windows and got met by Moira's raised eyebrows. Claire peeked into the window and laughed a bit shocked but entertained.

"What the fuck, Polly? Where the fuck did you get this car from?" she exclaimed, still standing in the exact same spot.

"It's John's car. Get the bags in to the trunk so I can get you two home." I answered and opened the trunk by pressing a button beside the steering wheel.

They got their bags into the trunk and then Moira get into the passenger seat and Claire took the seat behind her.

"Seriously, this shit looks like it comes from the fast and the furious." Moira said, her eyebrows still raised.

"Yeah, I know, it is a beauty." I said.

"Are your boyfriend rich?" Claire asked, smiling her genuinely smile.

"Yeah, John is kind of rich but I still don't know if he is my boyfriend. I've told you that." I laughed.

"Whatever you say." she said and shook her head. "Drive to my house, Moira is going to stay the night. Sherry is coming over too with some pastries. You should stay over for it."

"Yeah, I would love to." I said with a big smile. It would be so nice to hang out with family for a bit, without any talk about illegal affairs.

"I still can't believe this, Polly. I never would have pictured you as a gold digger." I glared daggers at her. I was just about to spit back but she didn't gave me a chance.

"How old is he? Dad's age?" she joked.

"Euuw! No!" I exclaimed and showed off a disgusted grimace with my tongue out and then we all laughed.

"Welcome to my humble abode!" Claire giggled when she opened her front door and let me and Moira in. It smelled wonderfully, like it always did at Claire's place. She had become something of a big sister to me and Moira over the years, helping us through our difficult teenage years and cursing the guys who broke our hearts with us while eating ice cream.

"It's wonderful." I smiled.

"Stop suck ass, Polly. It doesn't suit you." Moira joked. I pushed her softly and stuck my tongue out. They piled their bags in the corner of the room and then I started to make some coffee for us while we waited for Sherry. But we didn't had to wait for so long. The doorbell rang and Claire opened the door happily, embracing Sherry in a big hug.

"We became four instead of three, our little hero here needs some coffee." Claire said and pointed at me.

"The hero needs to make the coffee herself though." I said and turned around when I was done with pouring coffee into the coffee machine.

Sherry looked overworked. Her blonde hair looked drained out of color, big blue circles under her eyes. The police work didn't seem like a profession you should choose if you didn't was a fighter. She stared wide-eyed at me. We haven't seen each other in almost two years because I went to collage and she was never in town when I was.

"Heey, Sherry." I said smiling big, waving at her. She just stood in her place, still staring at me with her big blue eyes. I smiled a bit confused and cleared my throat. She had made it very embarrassing. Claire noticed it right away and saved it like she always did.

"Polly picked us up at the airport and drove us here. People were really selfish and couldn't even spare one hour for us. Not even Chris picked up his phone." She said.

"I'm sorry." Sherry said and turned her gaze to Claire.

"Sorry?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.

"For not picking you guys up from the airport." Claire laughed and hugged her tightly. They had a very special relationship. They were like best friends and siblings at the same time.

"We knew you had work so you have nothing to be sorry for, Sher." she finished and led Sherry into the kitchen with an arm over her shoulders.

It felt weird. Me and Sherry always had so fun when we met. We were pretty alike. Maybe she thought it was a bit embarrassing to meet me after two years. She maybe didn't know how to react so that meant that I had to do the reacting. I went over to her and hugged her tightly. It was just like I thought it was because she hugged me even more tightly.

"How have you been doing?" I asked when we let go.

"Just fine, how about you? Are you okay?" she asked, her blue eyes filled with worry.

"Yes! I am just fine, more than fine actually-"

"Of course you are. Did you see the car outside? Her fuckboy is rich. I bet that his cock is made of gold. That must mean that you still have gold inside of you. That would make me more than fine too." Moira interrupted. Sherry stared at her wide-eyed, it looked like she almost were about to cry.

"Moira, please!" I defended myself and shook my head. "Don't listen to that kind of language, she is so grotesque, I'm sorry." I told Sherry and took her hands in mine. She shook her head and smiled at me.

"It's fine, Polly. So, you have a boyfriend?" she asked curiously. I shrugged and earned a very confused look from her. Almost like she couldn't believe my gesture.

"It is kind of complicated, I don't really know where we stand in that. I don't even now if he like, loves me." I said and blushed all over my face. Moira giggled loudly and Claire hushed her.

"He does." She hastily said. I giggled almost as loudly as Moira, confusion written all over my face.

"I mean that I bet he does. You are very beautiful and you are also very smart. That is not so common nowadays. So how could he not be in love with you?" she smiled, her blue eyes still worried.

"If you knew him you would know that it wasn't that easy." she let out a little laugh. She weirded me out a bit. She was acting differently.

My phone beeped and saved me out of the conversation. I picked it up and read the text message from John.

'Meet me at home at 3?' he asked. I giggled at it and replied that I was more than happy with that and then I walked away with the phone, putting it down on the counter. The clock was a little over 1 right now so it would be just perfect.

We drank some coffee and ate Sherry's delicious strawberry pastries and then we decided to go into the living room and watch some horror movies like we used to do in the old days. We chose to watch the Rob Zombie remake of the horror movie 'halloween'. Sherry sat close to me, braiding my long hair like she used to do. We we're so into it and when it was coming to an end we all sat tense. When the doorbell rang me and Moira screamed out of fear, laughing at ourselves when Claire went out of the living room and to the kitchen and the front door.

"That totally got you, sis." Moira mocked.

"Yeah it did but it got you too, so shut it." I laughed.

"You are so easily scared, it didn't got me at all." Sherry mocked with a pretend voice of a child. We laughed hysterically until Claire came into the living room, smiling a little to big smile which also seemed to be directed to me.

"Your _boyfriend."_ she whispered.

"What?" Sherry exclaimed shocked.

"Here?" Moira said excitingly. Claire nodded.

"Oh my god, I need to see him." she said and hurried out of the living room, almost bumping into him in the door opening between the kitchen and the living room.

She looked up to him, red in the face.

"Sorry." she murmured.

"It's nothing to worry about. You must be Moira." he said and held out a hand for her to shake. She nodded and took his hand.

"I'm John." he said and let go of her hand.

"We had arranged a meeting one and a half hour ago, my love. I presume you forgot the time?" he said, smirking. I turned completely red in the face. How could I forgot about it? I saw Claire look at him with suspicious eyes.

"I am so sorry, I did." I confessed.

"You didn't answer your phone either so I checked where you were by checking up the location of the car. I got worried." I smiled apologetically. He didn't seem angry with me but it was still so embarrassing. We haven't been seeing each other for a long time and I already start to fuck things up.

"Do I know you?" Claire asked him with a perplexed smile. He changed his attention over to her, looking her deeply in the eyes. I was experienced with people backing off when he did but Claire never did, she remained. I felt Sherry's hands around my neck, hugging me tightly. I nuzzled into her embrace.

"I do not think so, miss. I would probably remember if I had made your acquaintance." he said with a smile. She laughed it of and nodded. "Yeah, I probably just took you for someone else." she explained. Moira kept in the door opening where she had been standing the whole time, staring wide-eyed at John. She was probably shocked by that he looked like he did. She had made many jokes that he must be ugly. Because he can't be rich, good in bed and handsome. That is impossible, he must be either ugly or you are lying, she told me. Well, Moira. Here are my proof.

He turned to me once again and smiled at me and then he seemed to be locking eyes with Sherry. She breathed hard into the top of my head.

"And you might be?" he asked, smiling at her. She breathed even harder. For God sake, Sherry. I thought. I know he is extremely handsome and hot but you don't need to be breathing like that it is making it pretty obvious.

"Sherry, Polly's childhood friend." she hastily spat out rudely earning glares from both Claire and Moira.

"Ah." he nodded. "I've never heard of you." he hit back making her speechless.

"John." I warned, locking eyes with him. He nodded and smiled apologetically.

"I am sorry if it came out rude, Sherry." he started. "We wouldn't want to make this rude, now would we?" he asked with a smile. I felt Sherry shaking her head. Moira broke the tense air by clearing her throat.

"It's so nice to finally meet you, we've heard so much of you." she explained. He laughed deeply.

"I just hope it was nice things?" They laughed and I joined in. Now it felt so much better. I felt a bit annoyed with Sherry's rudeness so I broke free from her embrace and stood up from the sofa.

"Of course I haven't told them anything bad because there aren't any." I laughed and walked towards him.

"I'm that good?" he asked flirtatiously. I nodded and embraced him quickly finishing it off with a kiss.

"Do you really have to go, Polly?" Sherry asked when she also got to her feet. I saw Claire giving her a warning glare to leave us alone but she seemed to be ignoring it.

"I mean, we haven't met each other for a very long time." she said, smiling apologetically. "I've been missing you, Pol." I smiled happily and held out my hand for her to take. She stared at it for a while and then she walked, slowly and carefully over to me, taking my hand, ignoring John completely.

"I'm sorry, I promised him. But we can see each other some other time, I am unemployed at the time so I have a lot of time." I told her but she didn't seem happier about that.

"Yes. I suppose you have Polly's phone number?" John asked politely. She locked eyes with him and shook her head slowly. "Then I suggest you two change numbers and keep in touch. I would've let Polly stay but I've actually booked a table at the Hensen's. I've re-booked it to 6 but we have to go home and change clothes." he confessed. My mouth fell slightly agape, Hensen's was one of NYC's fanciest restaurants.

"Meh, what a luxury!" Moira whined. John turned around to face her with a smile.

"I am sure you will find a hardworking man who can take you there." she blushed and shrugged.

Sherry watched him carefully, she didn't seem to like him. How could that be? She didn't even knew him and she didn't even gave him a chance. I thought it was really unfair. John was an amazing man. He made me feel like a woman and he made me happy. He knew exactly how to treat me. Wasn't that enough proof for her to even give him a chance?

We waved goodbye when we went for the car. Moira and Claire waved back happily, sending me flying kisses. Sherry waved too. Just not as enthusiastically as them. We got into the Porsche, him in the drivers seat. He had taken a taxi down here so we didn't need to transport two cars.

I put my hand on his thigh, smiling happily when we drove out of the driveway. He seemed a bit irritated. I immediately felt guilty. It was probably Sherry's behavior that made him feel that way. It was a fact that John disliked when people didn't showed him the respect he considered that he deserved. No one likes to be disrespected but no one took it as serious as he did.

"I am sorry about Sherry. She isn't like this usually. She was probably just irritated that we couldn't hang out more." I explained.

"A grown-up should not act like a child."

"I totally agree, but she will come around. I promise. And when she does she will beg of your forgiveness."

"Let's hope so, it wouldn't be so good for her if she couldn't get along with me would it?" he said, chuckling darkly. I turned my head at him in shock.

"And what do you mean by that exactly?"

"Everyone that disrespects me needs to be learned a lesson, you know that." he said even more irritated.

"Yeah, but those people weren't my friends!" I exclaimed angrily.

"It doesn't matter."

"Oh, yes. It does. You will not touch her. If you do, it just shows how much of a coward you are!" I yelled angrily. When he hit the breaks, the tires shrieked against the asphalt deafening. When the car came to a halt he undid his belt and turned his head to me, eyes burning with anger. I had never actually seen this side of him. It scared me. I regretted what I just said earlier. It was a stupid move of me.

"Drive the car to your apartment, I am taking a cab home. I can't bare to sit in the same car as you." he spat and got out of the car, slammed the door a little bit harder than it was necessary. My heart fell into my stomach, my hands shook with anger but with sadness to. I had made a fool out of myself. Completely. Did he just broke up with me, or broke whatever we had?

I panicked, tears sipping down my cheeks. I knew that I was right, but I also knew how the whole respect thing was a great deal for him. I took it too far when I called him a coward.

I opened the passenger door and slammed it shut. I looked after him, seeing him a couple of meters in front of me, walking hastily.

"John!" I screamed after him but he ignored it and kept walking. "Please, stop!" I howled. He kept ignoring me. I started to cry even more, almost choking on the sobs. I started to run to keep up with him but when I did kept up with him, taking a hand on his arm he turned around angrily.

"Don't touch me, get back in the car and go home." he stated and turned around again.

"No, please!" I yelled. "Don't leave me please." I stopped in my tracks and dried my tears to no avail. "Please don't." I pleaded. He didn't listen, it was like he had shut of completely. I sat myself down on the ground, exhaling painfully.

"I can't live without you, John!" I screamed for all that my lungs could take. "I fucking love you, you son of a bitch, and you just broke my heart, I hope you are happy!" I yelled after him and buried my face in my hands, crying out loudly not even caring how it must've looked like. It hurt like hell. How could I live without experience the amazing nights I've experienced with him the last few months? How could I ever kiss someone else and how the hell would I be able to give into someone as I've done to him? It was impossible.

"Get up." he stated firmly somewhere nearby. I peeked between my fingers. He stood right in front of me, staring me down. He didn't look that angry anymore. He wasn't happy of course. He seemed a bit confused actually.

"Get up, Polly or people might think I am abusing you."

"Well, you are, mentally." I said and sobbed loudly. He hushed me and dragged me up into his arms. He held me tightly, kissing the top of my head softly.

"I wasn't going to break up with you. I just got angry with you." he caressed my cheek softly. "It would take much more than that to make me want to leave you, my love." I smiled and dried my tears on the sleeve of my shirt.

"So, we are, like, a couple?" I asked, still sobbing a bit. I haven't lost the feeling yet.

"You just returned my feelings so I would say so." he smiled and kissed me softly, not caring about how wet my face was because of all the tears. When our lips parted he looked me in the eyes and smiled genuinely, showing off his adorable dimples.

"I love you." he breathed. "More than anything." I giggled and hugged him as tight as I possibly could.

Wow. That was a big stone letting go off my chest. I wasn't some private playtoy. I wasn't going to get left alone. I was going to be with my _boyfriend_. I tasted the words for a bit. It sounded ridiculously. _Boyfriend._ No. He was my soulmate. My other half. My man. My everything.

 _ **Okay, so this chapter got veeeery long. I had so much to write! Aaaaw, I just had to get it cleared**_

 _ **out that they really loved each other. There has been six chapters now of Sherry's and Polly's POV so next chapter is going to be in John POV ENTERILY. I want you guys to get to know him too, what he is like, what goes about in his mind.. Hahah. If someone wants me to have more of something or less of something, FEEL FREE TO TELL ME! I would be so happy to have my readers opinion.**_

 _ **BTW, John is a character I took loosely out from a dream I had from a while ago. I had been thinking about how I wished that Jake would be a bit more like Wesker and then one night I dreamt of a guy named John, the son of Wesker, hotter than fire, as dangerous as his father etc etc. I just had to make something out of it so I did.**_

 _ **Love you! xoxoxoxo**_


	7. Conceal Don't Feel

"You did an excellent work with the Olivars', I am very proud of you." Renko said, his green eyes glistening with pride. He reached for the briefcase which contained my reward. He smiled and handed it over to me over the table we were seated at. I nodded firmly and got to my feet.

"There's one more thing, mr Dorner. Please sit down." he said and gestured for the chair I just got up from. I raised an eyebrow at him and remained in my place, he had told me the last time we talked, when he gave me the names of the people I needed to eliminate, that this was the last job I had to do for a while. No one had been saying against him or had been threatening him since he had hired me. It got out, you see. On purpose of course and it became quiet as quickly as you can say death. Very impressing that my mere name put so much fear into people. I had really succeeded with myself I believed. A big warm feeling was spreading inside of me at the thought of it.

Renko gestured at the chair again. I despised how stubborn the scientist were and I more than despised that he thought he was better than me. He was a foolish old man to think of himself like that. He wasn't even wise enough to fear me.

"Alright then, John." he said and rose to his feet, facing me. He laughed and shook his head slowly.

"It is sad that you have to be this unfriendly, my son. We have been working together since you were a child." he said, trying to look hurt but I could see that it was just an act.

"I am not your son, Piotr." I said firmly, staring him down. He is a very short man. He laughed again and nodded.

"That is very true. I am not your biological father but you have become somewhat like a family to me. I've seen you grow up to be this magnificent man you are today."

"Magnificent?" I snorted. "You use me and I use you. I eliminate those who interfere with your work and you pay me, that is what is." He didn't answer, he sat down again and exhaled deeply. Gesturing his disappointment. Like something so meaningless as his feelings was any of my concern.

"I really need your help with something." he said like everything was forgotten. I raised an eyebrow to gesture him to continue.

"You will get 1.5 million dollars for it. In cash." He said and caught my attention deeply. Money always caught my attention especially that amount of it.

"I need your blood." I turned around and was on my way to the door to get out of there. That, I was never going to do. I wasn't a terrorist.

"John, please! Listen to what I have to say, it might change your mind." he shouted after me as I was about to open the door, the doorknob in my hand. I let the doorknob go and then I turned around slowly, walking towards him, stopping right in front of him. I put down the briefcase beside the table leg and then I reached over the table to face him, both of my hands on the edge of the table to keep me steady.

"Don't confuse me with a foolish man. That could be the last thing you do, mr Renko." I said slowly, staring him down. He raised his eyebrows and laughed at me mockingly. I showed my point by grabbing him by the throat with one of my hands, putting a lot of pressure on his windpipe. He gasped shockingly, grabbing my hand and tried to pry it off of him to no avail.

"Get your hands of off me!" he said but it was so low, I barely heard it. But it didn't matter if I heard it or not because I was determined on learning him a lesson in respecting me.

"Apologize." I stated. He didn't seem to be an easy learner. Maybe I had to give the pathetic man some time.

"Apologize." I repeated and put more pressure on his windpipe. He shook his head stubbornly. I felt my whole body itch with disgust and irritation. I wanted to shatter his skull right now. That would be no loss for the world. I threw him into the wall of his lab, he collided hard with it. He groaned painfully and heaved himself up with his back against the wall. He hold his arm carefully. I was filled with pride. I had made him feel pain.

I went over to him slowly, almost like I was an animal hunting a prey. I crouched in front of him, smiling mockingly at him. He was bleeding from his mouth, he probably bit his lip in the collision.

"I am not afraid of you, boy!" he spat, a little blood flew out of his mouth and onto his white lab coat.

"Then maybe you should consider that, Piotr. I could kill you right now and make you disappear without anybody figuring out where the hell you could be. You know that, you hired me for it." I considered it, I could almost hear the cogs in his head work. He seemed to have figured it out because he didn't talk back.

"You should treat me with respect. Why don't we start with you apologizing to me for your rudeness?"

"I am sorry. It will not happen again." he said, his voice shaking a bit. I felt so fulfilled. That man had been bothering me since I was five years old. Back then, he charmed my mother into a relationship just so he could get his fingers on me and my blood since he didn't have the guts to even ask my father. He had the same look in his eyes when my father came into the room as he had now, when he looked at me. Terror. Pure terror.

"That wasn't so hard, right?" I asked and grabbed his arm, dragging him up on his feet. He howled painfully because I grabbed his wounded arm, on purpose of course.

"Your shoulder is dislocated. I could fix that for you if you wish, I've done that a couple of times before myself." I said, wanting to make him hurt more but he probably mistook it for kindness. He stared at me for a while, he seemed to have a hard time to decide it. But since I knew him and I knew he didn't want to look bad in front of his 'minions', he decided with a nod that I was going to locate it back. I smirked big when he had a hard time getting the arm out of the lab coat and he caught my eyes for a while. He didn't look at me like he did a while before. His ego was still there of course but there was respect in them.

I grabbed his upper arm and shoulder and in a blink of an eye I located it back. He screamed painfully and breathed hard when I let go of it.

I grabbed the handle of the suitcase and turned around, heading for the door.

"John.." he groaned. I stopped in my tracks and exhaled deeply but I didn't turn around to face him.

"I would like you to do another job for me if you are still interested in working with me. I will give you money enough to cover our little.." he paused and laughed. "Rumpus." he finished. I turned around and nodded for him to continue. He still stood by the wall, looking pathetically fragile.

"Sherry Birkin. You'll get half a million for it." My stomach didn't agree with my face expression when I remembered Polly's words about what she would think of me if I would hurt her friend. I cleared my thoughts of those stupid obstacles. Polly was never going to figure it out. I was a professional, I knew what I did. They would never even find her body.

"A million." I said. He scratched the back of his blonde head, probably thinking about how much he really could pay me.

"Seven thousand." I laughed at him mockingly. I wasn't going to do it for under eight.

"Eight. Or else you should find someone else to do it."

"Deal." he said and nodded firmly.

I had put up a good plan for little ms Birkin. She was a thorn in my side as well but that wasn't anything that Renko was aware of. I was going to enjoy this, to squeeze the life out of that woman especially after what happened the other day when I picked up Polly from her friend.

I had been keeping tabs on Sherry for a couple of days, learning her schedule. She just got back to work yesterday and I even checked what case she was working on. It wasn't anything important and I believe she agreed with me on that one. I even kept some tabs on her former partner Richie Klimer since he was still assigned on the case where they searched for the murderer for those russians. They wasn't going to find Rosa since I got rid of her and all they seemed to know was that she was missing. They had thoughts that she was hiding but that was just grasping at nothing in my opinion. I knew that Sherry knew what was going on but she was wise enough to keep her mouth shut. Too bad I have to kill her anyway. I was going to make it fun. Sometimes it was if you had a personal matter in it or else it was like it was. I felt nothing when the life burned out of the persons eyes. Nothing. Emptiness. I guess that was why they called me the 'merciless one'.

Her apartment smelled funny. She had overdosed on detergent. Some cheap detergent too who smelled like a hospital.

I walked into her bedroom and checked the time on my rolex. She was going to get home any minute now if she didn't had stopped on her way for a coffee or something like that.

Her bed was neatly made-up but she had some clothes on the floor. I liked the smell in here. It smelled feminine. Perfume, and something else I couldn't figure out what it was but I could almost taste it on my tongue. It was like strawberries on a hot summer day. I turned around and faced her wardrobe. I opened it carefully and took a look. It was just clothes and shoes. Some people had their darkest secrets in their wardrobes in hope that no one would find it. Careless people of course. Your darkest secrets should be placed somewhere deep inside your mind where no one but you could access it. That's how you survive life I've learned. I closed it and walked out to her living room and sat down in her sofa and took a look at my surroundings. She had a lot of pictures on her walls, I noticed them the last time I was here too but that time I didn't have so much time to actually see what it was. It was of her and friends I suppose. She smiled happily at every single photograph and it was too bad that smile never was going to be seen again. Somewhere deep inside of me I felt that it was a bit sad since she was very beautiful but I shoved that thought right out of my head immediately. I wasn't a shallow person and I absolutely didn't have any time for pitying.

I heard the door unlock so I hurried to the bathroom and got there by the time she got in and closed the door behind her. I heard her small footsteps walking across the wooden floor and as I expected she would leave her bag by the door and walk to the bathroom.

She flicked on the light and gasped with shock as she locked as with me. She was quick, quicker than many other people I've had to put down. She turned around and hurried for the front door but I was quicker. I grabbed her by her ponytail and dragged her into my arms to hold her still and my hand to her mouth to keep her quiet.

She kicked and tried to bite me, she was furious. My gloves protected me from her sharp teeth or else I would probably have a pretty nasty wound by now.

"Shh.. Or I will snap your neck in a blink of an eye." I whispered into her ear. I felt her shudder for a little bit and then she stopped. I removed my hand from her mouth and then I took her by the arm and led her to the living room. She followed me submissively and I liked it. I enjoyed when I had the upper hand on situations and it didn't matter if it was when I was going to kill someone or in the everyday life.

I pushed her down onto the sofa and crouched before her. She stared wide-eyed at me, I could almost see my reflection in them.

"What did you do to piss Renko off?" I said and cocked my head with a smirk. She understood instantly why I was there. She wasn't that stupid. She looked away and bit her lip, preventing herself from crying.

"You must have done something." I continued. She turned her head in my direction and faced me with tears in her eyes.

"What do you think I've been doing? The thing I asked you to do." She started and sobbed quietly. "He needs to be stopped. He is insane, John. I know that because he worked with my father on those horrific creatures!" she exclaimed. It wasn't any surprise to me of course.

"I already know that." I said and raised to my fully height. She looked intimidated but her tears wasn't there anymore. She had this look in her eyes. The look she had the first time I saw her, every time I saw her. It wasn't fear as it should be instead it was something between disgust and attraction. It was indeed very odd. I've never seen it before. Not that mix of it. I've seen both on different occasions. It annoyed me to the brink. She was supposed to have the look of hate and fear in her big blue eyes.

"You are pathetic." I stated and exhaled my frustration. She just stared carefully at me not daring to question what I just said. We stared at each other for a long while, eyes locked. My cold ones with her warm ones. Confusion started to appear in them and she raised to her feet and grabbed my hands in hers.

"Please, don't do this." she sobbed. I snorted loudly and pushed her into the couch. She tried to reach for me but I simply took a step back so she weren't able to reach me anymore. What was she playing at? It was futile to even try to get out of this and she knew that.

"Don't make this any harder than it needs to be." I said. She dried her eyes on her sleeve and then she exhaled deeply and locked eyes with me. Dreaming herself away again like she did before. It disgusted me how shallow the woman was. I was about to end her life, painfully, and she allowed herself to fantasize about a different scenario. It must be a defense mechanism. She didn't have any other choice but to do it or else she wouldn't be able to manage the situation. I could understand that even if I didn't feel it myself but what I couldn't accept or understand was her being superficial. It made me furious.

"There is something in this world that I don't like, do you know what that is, Sherry?" I asked as I seated myself down beside her on the couch. She stared at me in confusion at my action. I cocked my head at her and crossed my knees. I smirked at her quickly, showing off my pearl white teeth. It flashed in her eyes and her gaze was fixed at my face, not my eyes, but my face. It proved my point. She didn't even tried to hide it.

"Shallowness." I answered and leaned back into the cushions. It caught her of guard. She was shocked and wide-eyed.

"Wh-what?" she stammered. I nodded slowly.

"People are so fixed with appearance. Almost everything is about it." I started. She didn't seem to even get my point. "And I've been told I am narcissistic just because some find my appearance very.." I paused and looked deeply into her eyes. "Satisfying." I finished and she got the point, her cheeks flushed. She tried to hide it from me with an act of confusion but I could see her true feelings in her eyes.

"It is not me who is narcissistic it is you who are shallow. Correct needs to be correct." She got even more red in her little face but she started to grow angry too. She felt I enjoyed to humiliate her but in my opinion it was all her own fault. Stupid woman, thinking with her hormones in a dangerous situation. She got up to her feet angrily and struck out her arms.

"Just get over with it! Just kill me!" she howled desperately. I laughed mockingly at her.

"Sit down." I gestured her to the seat she just rose from. She remained in her place and it only irritated me further. I grabbed her wrist and pulled her down into it, making sure that it was painfully. She whined and grabbed her wrist, massaging it carefully. She looked so fragile, so small. She didn't have a chance. Not even a little one. To be fair, it was very unfair.

What? Stop this foolishness. When you are done, eight thousand awaits. It needed to be done.

"Do it." she said weakly, her voice filled with depression. She had figured it out now. It was for the best to just let it go.

She turned to me, her big eyes filled with anxiety. It got to me somehow and unfortunately she saw it. Good enough for me, she didn't get her hopes up. She just acted like she didn't saw it. What in the name of God has gotten into me? She was a nobody. Finish her so you can go home to Polly. You are acting very childishly and unprofessional. I got ashamed of myself. I had to do it.

I grabbed her by the throat and squeezed as hard as I could. She gasped desperately, trying to pry my hands of off her. She let out strangled, muffled groans.

A painful hard knot was appearing in my stomach and I couldn't understand why. I usually didn't feel anything when I killed someone.

I groaned furiously and pushed her into the cushions while I still was holding her throat. It would go faster if I pressed both my bodyweight and strength into it. She tried to kick but to no avail, I held her small legs still with my own legs.

I let go of her and got up from the couch. I wasn't really sure if it was me or if I just did it automatically. I believed in the second. She coughed hard behind me, breathing desperately after every breath.

I had failed. For the first time in my life I wasn't able to perform my task. I felt ashamed, disgusted by myself. What would I tell Renko? I couldn't admit what happened because he would ruin my reputation and if that was the case then I would be nothing. I could rather be dead if that happened. The coughing had stopped behind me and now it was so quiet so I could hear my own heartbeat. Yes, I definitely have a heart. I just don't use it as much as everyone else. It is pathetic to think that the heart will take you anywhere. The brain is the one who does that.

I felt her small hands on my back, she caressed it carefully, tracing her hands up and down slowly. I didn't move an inch. Her hands came around my waist, hugging me tightly but carefully from behind. I let it happen. Usually I would probably scold her and brush her of off me like she was an annoying bug. But I couldn't induce myself to do it. It felt quite good with her small hands on my body, she was careful and insecure in her moves but I wasn't.

I tangled myself out of her grip and turned around, locking eyes with her. It was like she had a haze over them and she squinted a little bit, making her look tired. But I knew that she wasn't. She was longing for me.

I grabbed one of my hands around her waist and pushed her closer to me our faces just inches between each other. I caressed her cheek slowly and then I let my fingertips wander to her lips, touching them softly.

"I want to kiss those beautiful lips." I said and stared into her eyes firmly but soft. She wanted me to do it. Her eyes stared longingly at my lips. I smirked and leaned in close enough to do it. She didn't stop me, she was encouraging it by dragging her fingers through the back of my hair.

She moaned approvingly and the smell of strawberries hit my nose. The scent was intoxicating. It was her scent, that was why I liked it so much earlier.

The kiss got rougher, our teeth crashing into each other now and then but I barely noticed it. I grabbed her by the shoulders and made her sit in my lap as I sat down on the couch. It wasn't a problem, her submissiveness was giving into me entirely. It was so easy now. The thing I barely never did before was so easy now and the thing I had as a profession was impossible for me to do. I just wanted to feel her skin, taste her lips.

I saw that a bruise in the shape of my hands were starting to form on her throat. It must hurt. I traced my fingers on it carefully not to hurt her, she caught my action put her fingers over mine softly. I looked up, right into her eyes. Her eyes were soft and loving. She forgave me.

I let go of her throat and leaned in to trace small kisses on it. Her skin tasted so incredible and the scent from here was more than bearable. I couldn't keep it in anymore when I heard her soft moans as my lips where at her neck. I got to my feet, her holding on for her life with her legs around my waist and my hands on her back. She let out a little surprised shriek at my action. I walked over to her bedroom, kissing her plump lips and pushed her into the bed.

"We shouldn't be doing this." she mumbled in between kisses.

"Oh, but you want to." I said and thats was all that was needed for her to be quiet. She was so small in my arms, I was scared of hurting her. I was gentle and let her do it in her own pace but she surprised me. Not that she was freaky, no no. She knew what she wanted and seemed to figure out very fast what I liked so therefore it was bloody perfect. Words didn't quite cover it, no.

"We shouldn't have done that." she said looking up at me from my chest where she lied. Her eyes were filled with worry so I decided to comfort her the best I could. Which was in words.

"We are grown-ups, we do what we wish to do." I said and smiled but she got even more worried, her body slightly shaking. She got up in sitting position and faced me. Her breathing more strained, like she had a hard time getting the air into her lungs.

"That's not what I meant. We shouldn't have done this to Polly." I stared at her slightly shocked but then I remembered that this wasn't the first time a woman thought that I wanted to marry after sex. I sighed and got up in sitting position myself, my back against the headboard. This was going to be hard to do, but I had to hurt her. It never could be anything between us. Never.

"I am going to apologize in advance for my upcoming righteousness." she looked fragile and hurt, she was a smart girl. She probably knew what I was going to say.

"This was just something that happened. It is not like I am going to leave her because of this, I love her. Sex is sex and love is love. It is two entirely different things." She didn't expect that. I could see it in her eyes. She seemed slightly hurt and didn't even tried to cover it.

"Just something that happened?" she echoed. She had to understand my point of view from where I come from. I don't handle every action with love, some I just do because I want to. Not to please someone else but only to please myself. It is not egoistic, it is just me being very fond of the good things in life I lied to myself. It was true in some perspective just not with her.

I got up from the bed and started to dress myself, ignoring her the best I could since I didn't want any unnecessary conversation but I could feel her burning stare in the back of my neck. It felt like she would attack me any minute.

"You used me." her voice was filled with sadness. Of course I did, I thought. It sounded so awful but that was what it was, wasn't it? Did she really expect that I would leave everything for her? Silly woman.

I turned around with my shirt in my hand. She sat on the bed, completely naked on the inside as well as on the outside. She didn't meet my eyes, her stare was somewhere else, it was hard to tell if it even was in the room. I felt pity for her. I actually did.

"You didn't actually believe it was an action of love, did you?" I asked her softly but I couldn't hide the mockery I had been trying to bury inside me. She lifted her head and met my eyes, hers slightly glazed.

"I thought.." she started but then she shook her head, mumbling something to herself before she got to her feet. She didn't even bother to dress herself, she just walked over to me hastily and put her small hands on either side of my chest and pushed me. She _pushed_ me. Of course it did not affect me at all, I remained in my place.

She growled angrily and tried it again with the same outcome. "Sherry." I warned but she did not listen to me, she was all caught up in making me fall. It was futile, did she not understand? She hit her small fists against my chest and that made me run out of patience. That was disrespectful. I grabbed her wrists and squeezed them hard earning a desperate howl from her.

"Let go of me, you sick fuck!" she screamed, trying to get out of my grip. She had become very disturbing, it was not my fault she let herself believe in such nonsense as her and me as some kind of lovers. I just couldn't let myself do it even if I wanted to. It was as I said, nonsense.

I threw her into the bed angrily over my own thoughts and started to put on my shirt. I couldn't lose control again when I just regained it. I couldn't afford it, I just had to get her of my back.

I could see her in the corner of my eye, laying as still as she could in the middle of the bed. It seemed like she had given up.

When I got on my last item of clothing I turned to her, unsure of what to say. It probably was best if I just left so I turned around and was heading for the door when I heard her sobbing. It stung inside me to hear it but this was for the best and truthfully, I wanted to be with Polly more. It was the safest choice to. Sherry was involved too much with my background since her father and my father worked together and Polly wasn't involved at all, she doesn't even know I am a child of a once very feared terrorist. She didn't know that side of me at all, the side that everyone else thought was my only one. She only know the side in which I use my heart because with Polly, I could. I just did.

"Don't even bother, Birkin." I said and walked out of the room and out of her apartment. I got into the elevator and pushed the button who would take me down. It started to grow inside of me this feeling of pure pain. It gnawed inside of me, ate me up from the inside. At least, that was what it felt like. I just left her with the only thought that I used her for my own outcome. It was almost as I had broke her heart, fortunately we didn't come to that. She didn't even know me so how would she be able to feel that kind of feelings for you?

 _You feel it, don't you? So why wouldn't she be able to?_ I growled at my thoughts and automatically my fist collided with the wall of the elevator, creating a little crack in the wood. I was pathetic right now. I despised myself deeply.

"Get a hold of yourself, John." I told myself before the elevator doors slide open to the lobby. I walked out of them and hurried to my car which was parked on the other side of town.

 _ **Okay, what do you think? I am afraid that it turned out a bit too cheesy for some people.. I liked it of course, if I didn't, I wouldn't post it.**_

 _ **I don't think you expected that Sherry and John would get going with things if you know what I mean ;) I tagged Polly, Sherry and John (OC) as characters since I am going to focus on them the most. What do you guys think about John? I would like to have some thoughts on him since he is my OC and I alone created him. Well, I had very much inspiration from his dad!**_


	8. If I could choose

The cold wind blew through my open window and caressed my skin carefully. I woke up and sat up in my bed and I immediately got the grip of the reality and what had happened just hours ago.

I was so angry with myself and so confused too. I didn't really know what was going on. I had let him in. Why on earth had I done that? I couldn't explain it really. One minute he was minutes away from killing me but then I saw it in his eyes, I saw something. It was something like affection and then he let go of me. When I saw that in his eyes something broke free inside of me and it felt so amazing. I felt warm from the toes to my head and nothing seemed so right and so good when I was in his arms. It felt like it was the way it is supposed to be. My wildest gamble was that it was love I felt. But it can't be, can it? No. I hate human beings like him. Who only cares about themselves and not has any affection for life at all. He is horrible. Killing people for money, how could he even sleep in the nights? And that wasn't even everything. Polly loves him and I just did that to her. I was really not that kind of a girl, I rather die than to do something like that and still I am here in this position.

I turned around in the bed and faced the window, I could tell that is was almost morning since the sunrise was around the corner, the sky orange. It was so beautiful. It always made me calm but now it just couldn't. I watched it rise but it wasn't what I actually saw even if it was right in front of me, all I saw was him. His smile, his eyes, his touch. Everything that we did replayed in my head over and over again. I wanted it for myself, I wanted to feel that feeling everyday, that feeling that he gave me.

I barely noticed it myself but I was crying, tears flooding out of my eyes and made my pillow soaking wet.

I groaned and got into a sitting position in my bed with my feet dangling of the edge. It was so cold, I could feel shivers running down my spine but I couldn't move. I just sat there, looking at my own feet. Why could it not be anybody else? A good man? Why on earth couldn't it be Richie? He had some kind of feelings for me and has have it ever since we started to work together. He never told me, though, but I noticed it because he cared to much and had this thing in his eyes when he looked at me. Why didn't I confront him and just gave him a chance? _Because you are hopeless, Sherry. You always choose the hard way._ My subconscious told me. It was the truth. I always made things so hard for myself.

I got out of the bed and walked to the bathroom, practically dragging my feet across the floor. I didn't even bother to put on a robe. It did not matter if anyone saw me right now, I didn't care.

When I got to the bathroom I flicked on the light and was about to get into the shower but what I saw in the mirror surprised me. How on earth had this happened? I put my long, blonde hair out of my face and examined the marks on my neck. They I noticed when they happened, but not that it looked this bad. It was violet and blue mixed together and on the sides of my neck. But the other marks on my body. How?

There was bruises on my arms and hips in the shape of his hands. I got scratches on my abdomen and stomach. What has he done to me? I could swear that it wasn't that rough, or was it?

Did he really fucked my mind up so much that I didn't even notice anything? This marks must have hurt or at least felt something.

I sighed deeply through my nose and looked away from the mirror. Did he do this to Polly too? Hurt her. A sting of jealousy struck me, stinging in the pit of my stomach. I wanted him. For myself. I didn't want Polly involved at all but as he said, that was not going to happen since he love her.

Tears started to build up again not just because I was jealous but also because I felt horrible for feeling the way I did. Polly was one of the most good persons on this earth. She never did anything to hurt anyone and she was truly nice to people and most of all; helpful. Of course he loves her, she is amazing and also a very pretty face. Even if he said he didn't care about appearance I still believed he did. Polly was a living evidence of it. It was no way he got interested in her only because of her personality.

I groaned and started to cry out loudly. When did I become like this? Jealous and unpredictable? That wasn't me at all.

I got into the shower and turned on the water, letting it pour down over my sore body. My knees started to ache so I sat myself down and hugged my knees tightly to my body.

"You should be ashamed of yourself." I spat at myself. "You really are pathetic. Just like he said."

Later that night I decided to get out to get some groceries. I was a wreck but I couldn't starve myself so I walked over to the store ten minutes from my apartment and got some noodles. That would get into my stomach, nothing big probably would. I bought a bottle of red wine too to get me to sleep through the night. I had work tomorrow.

When I got inside the apartment entrance I met up with Mrs. Conzula without her dog. She smiled at me and drag me into a hug. It surprised me so bad that I didn't return it right away. She laughed deeply and kissed me on the right cheek.

"About time, corazon." she simply said and was about to open the entrance door.

"What is about time?" I asked and I truly didn't understand what the fuzz was about. I looked as shocked as I actually was.

She shook her head and smiled.

"Don't hide that from me. It is great, very great. I approve." she said and went out on the street waving me goodbye.

"What..?" I whispered to myself and shook my head. Had she been drinking? Probably.

I shook my head again and took the elevator up to my apartment.

Conzula was a very wonderful woman but she was quite old. Maybe she mistook me for someone else.

I got out of the elevator and when I lifted my head to watch where I was going I dropped my grocery bag in pure shock.

"You are that happy to see me, yes?" Alexis laughed and hurried over from my door to help me get the groceries together.

"What are you doing here?" I breathed hard, "How do you know where I live?" I pumped him with the questions, refusing to even move an inch before I got an answer.

"You left me at the club and since I got your name I searched for your address." he confessed.

"Searched for my address? What?" I spat and took a step back. "You can't find my address that simply. I know that." It was true. I was a cop and our addresses wasn't something that someone just could look up. It was for safety measures. He smiled genuinely.

"Okay, you got me. Someone else did the research for me. Someone who has talents he maybe shouldn't offer for money." he said and put the last item in the grocery bag and held it out for me to take. I didn't take it, I remained in my spot, staring at him carefully.

"Don't look at me like that, pumpkin. I am not going to investigate why a cop was at the Sweetest Poison. That does not concern me. I just came here to talk to you, to warn you actually." He instantly looked more serious.

"To warn me?" I echoed. He nodded and gave up on holding the grocery bag out for me and just held it himself.

"Yes. Can we talk undisturbed, please?"

"I don't trust you." I said and the words were true. I saw him with John that night, it seemed like he worked for him or something in that way. I didn't like it at all. Maybe John had send someone to kill me and he happened to be that someone.

Alexis sighed and shook his head slowly.

"I come in peace. You have to trust me since the things I have to tell you is very important."

"That doesn't change the fact that I don't trust you. Before I left the club I saw you with a man who is known for things even serial killers would think are horrible." I stated and he didn't seem shocked at all. It seemed like he already knew it.

"He asked me about you, Sherry. That's why I am here. I need you to hear me out."

Did it matter anyway? I had put myself in the biggest shithole of them all. I fell in love with the enemy. So, how can anything be more dangerous than that? Alexis locked eyes with me and I kept my gaze steady. I wasn't going to let him in and he got that now. He sighed and leaned in closer to me.

"You need to stay away from him, Sherry." I snorted loudly. That was too late.

"He is completely mental. Yesterday he shot a guy right in front of me because he asked him about this girl he has been hanging out with. He shot him right in the head without any remorse." He tried again.

"I know, Alexis." I said and put a hand on his shoulder. "I can take care of myself."

"It is not worth it. Your life is not worth whatever you and your cop friends has on him. Okay? Just drop it or else everyone of you will die, trust me. I've known John since he came here from Germany."

"He is not the one I want behind bars. Renko is the one I want." I confessed but Alexis seemed a bit confused. He stared at me for a while before he answered.

"Who?"

"Piotr Renko. John is working for him."

"No, no, no. I don't know anyone with that name. We all work for the same man and his name is not Renko." he stated firmly. He really didn't have any clue about that. I had to think quick. Should I explain to him about Renko? Or should I just keep quiet? Maybe there was a reason why Alexis didn't knew about him and I still didn't trust him fully.

"My bad." I said as quickly as I could. He was not convinced, I could see that in his eyes. He now knew that something was up so I better cover it up the best I could.

"Relax, Renko is just a man me and John knew when we were kids. Our fathers worked together so we kind of know each other."

"I know that. I know more about John than he is aware of. You know what they say, keep your enemies closer or something." he said and handed me my bag of groceries. What did he mean by that?

"But you're-" he cut me off by placing a soft kiss on my lips. I shrugged him off and took a few steps back.

"I didn't want to be this upright but since you seem to be entwined in this, I think it may be good." he started. "I know what you two did. I also know who his girlfriend is, or whatever you want to call miss Polly Burton. I know you are close with her too."

"You'll leave her out of this, Alexis." I warned.

"Wow" he breathed "You even sound like him. 'leave her out of this' blabla." he joked. But I didn't think it was funny at all. He started to scare me.

"Does she know you are screwing her boyfriend or is that just something that is between us?"

"Us? What do you mean by that? You don't know anything about me or my life. So get the hell away from me or else I will-"

"You will what, Sherry?" he took a few steps closer to me. "Call the cops? Let them know everything about your involvement? How you sleep with a murderer instead of locking him up?" I glared daggers at him furiously. He laughed darkly at my shameful silence.

"Didn't think so." he said and caressed my arm softly. Was everyone in this social circle this sick in the head? I walked past him to my door and searched for my keys in my jacket pocket, ignoring him the best I could. I fished them up and put them in the keyhole, unlocking my apartment door.

"I am not the enemy." he almost whispered. "I want to help you, why won't you let me?"

"By threatening me?" I asked and turned around to face him.

"Whatever makes you understand the importance of the danger you are causing yourself by doing this." His face was strained and he looked extremely tired all of sudden. When I didn't answer he opened his mouth to speak. His voice were quiet and restrained.

"I do know a lot about you." he started.

"You may know my story but you still don't know _me_ , Alexis. Therefore, I don't think you are in any good position to tell me what to do."

"I know that you are a good person so please, for the love of God, don't do this to yourself. You will end up dead somewhere." he begged. I didn't believe this for one second. He was the one who was completely mental. First he said he was trying to help me and then he kissed me all of a sudden. When I rejected him he started to threaten me and now he is nice and helpful again? I didn't need to be a cop to know that this was something fishy.

I turned around and slammed the door behind me a little bit harder than I intended to and then I locked it. I was so tired, this day really sucked. I corked up the wine bottle and took one of my fancy wine glasses out of the cabinet and filled it. Then I proceeded into the living room and turned on the TV and took a sip of the sweet wine.

I heard a muffled bang outside my door, he was probably banging his fists against the wall. It wouldn't surprise me since it was a common behavior for mental people like him. But I heard it again. And again. Three times I heard it. I turned off the volume on the TV so I could hear better. * **BANG*** It was louder than before, much louder. Now it wasn't just a muffled sound but instead a clearly banging sound. I decided to go and see what it was so I hurried to the door and looked through the peephole. I didn't see much, the peephole didn't cover that much area to see. I unlocked the door carefully and opened it even more carefully. Afraid that something or someone would grab me. Nothing. I opened the door fully and stared down the corridors.

Emptiness. Not a single sound to be heard, not a single person in view. I sighed and shook my head in annoyance. I needed to get some sleep and food to make this hallucinations go away. I laughed quietly at myself before I got into my apartment and locked the door behind me.

 **2 weeks later**

I had been feeling a little better since my last meeting with John. I've had time to process everything. Maybe not everything but most of it and then I got happier out of it. I knew I had done something horrible to my friend and I was still mad at him for doing this to me. Playing me over like that, like I was just a piece of meat. The thing was, I was.

I had been hanging out more with Richie since I apologized to him the Monday after the meeting with Alexis, whom I haven't seen or heard anything from. He probably got my message.

Richie was a friend I needed, surely he is a bit of a dad-ish person who tries to help everyone and keep everyone safe even if we are grown-ups just like him. It had it's charm of course. I invited him for dinner this evening as a thank you. He got me assigned to a good case. It wasn't the Renko case but it was a case I felt I was important in and that's what I needed to keep myself up.

I decided for some baked potatoes with oven baked salmon and vegetables. Salmon was Richie's favorite. I didn't really get that myself, how could you have fish as a top one on your favorite list in the food genre? I love meat, every kind of meat. That was one thing I had to stop nagging at him about. I wasn't really an angel myself so how could I judge others?

I heard the doorbell rang as I was busy taking out the fish and potatoes.

"Come in!" I shouted. I heard the door open and close and a pause before loud steps making it's way towards me. Somehow it didn't feel right. I stood there with a burning hot plate in my hands. I put it down carefully and turned around hastily, standing face to face with a big smile smeared across his face.

"This smells lovely, Sherry." Richie complimented. I breathed out and smiled at him before I took the plate and put it on the table.

"Are you okay? You look a bit.."

"No, I'm fine. Just fine." I interrupted him. "Thank you for coming, let's eat." I said and gestured for him to take a seat at the table. He lingered his eyes on me for a while before he sat himself down in front of me.

"So, how are the new case treating you?" he asked while he put a large amount of food on his plate.

"It is treating me just fine, Richie." I said and put some vegetables on my plate. "Thank you so much for getting it for me. Tyler would never have listen to me alone." He laughed and started to eat and so did I. It tasted better than I thought it would. It wasn't that I were a lousy cook. I could get some really nice meals on the table and I have learned it all by myself. Well, Claire maybe helped me a bit but not that much. Some tricks here and there.

When we had eaten everything on our plates and almost everything on the plate we went to watch some TV and drink red wine.

We sat ourselves down on either side of the couch and since I started to feel ta light buzz from the wine, I put my feet up in the sofa trying to make myself as comfortable as possible.

I turned on the TV and leaned back in the cushions. I took a sip of my wine and I could see in the corner of my eye that Richie were staring at me.

"What?" I asked after I swallowed the wine. He kept staring without answering my question. I stared back at him and took another sip of my wine, not losing eye contact as the glass touched my lips and I tilted my head back.

"Are you sure you are okay, Sherry?" he asked me calmly and leaned in close to me, keeping eye contact all the time.

"Yes, Richie. I am fine. If I weren't I wouldn't be working, would I?"

"You are really going to hold on to that for a life time, huh?" he laughed. I shrugged and reach for the wine bottle to refill my glass. Richie took a hold of my arm and dragged me into a hug, I almost dropped the glass at my rug.

"Woah, Richie. Watch my rug!" I howled.

"I am so sorry, it is just. I.." he started but didn't end it. He took the glass out of my hand and put it on the coffee table. I stared in wonder at him as he turned to me once again.

"I have been so worried. I thought you never would forgive me. But then, all of a sudden you did and now I feel we are closer than we have ever been." he said and dragged me into a hug for the second time. "I am so happy, Sherry." he whispered into my ear. I got goosebumps all over my neck as his hot breath caressed my skin. I knew that it was going to happen before it did. The moment was just perfect.

His lips captured mine in a passionate kiss, my fingers in his black locks and his hands capturing my cheeks. It went on a while before we broke free from each other.

"Do you know how long I've wanted to do that?" he breathed, his black eyes soft and loving. I knew how long he wanted to do that, I've known for quite a while that he had feelings for me since he cared to much in a way that didn't exactly was friendly, more loving. I thought it felt good, this was the guy I should be with and so I would.

"Then.." I said leaning in to him, "Don't stop."

He listened to my words and continued to capture my lips, caressing my back this time too. He broke free after a while to take his coat off, for some reason, Richie liked to have it on him even indoors. When he got out of the coat he grabbed my face with his hands and looked deeply into my eyes. He seemed so.. Calm. He was always calm but this was another type of it. It was like this was where he should be, where he always wanted to end up. He seemed fulfilled.

"Wow, I never thought that it would be this good." he laughed and kissed my lips again. I chuckled and took a sip of my wine when he let go of my face.

"Well, kissing is not the only thing that is good with me." I joked but he didn't seem to quite catch that I was joking. His eyes were burning with passion and he stared me down with heat.

"On the first date, Sherry?" he said, leaning into me. "Wow, you are surprising." I just laughed. It didn't really matter to me. We had known each other for quite some time. It wasn't the first time we met after hooking up on tinder. That would be something to raise your eyebrows for but not this. This was the way it was going to be like. I needed it, I need him.

"I assure you that I am very surprising." I answered at last and rose to my feet. He rose too and we started kissing again, all the way into my bedroom...

I heard birdsong outside of my window which stood open a few centimeters. The sun was blazing outside and the first thing that got to my mind was Richie. What happened last night. He didn't stayed the night since the office called him in for something on the case. The Olivar's were missing, all of them. Rosa Terrence were still missing too. Somehow I knew what had happened to them but still I kept lying to myself that I didn't.

The intimacy wasn't anything out of the ordinary. Maybe it would have been for me if I just leaned into it. I tried, and it will get better in time. It didn't suck, it had to do with me and my stupid feelings. It will take some time on the sex part. But I will fix it, I will take care of it since it isn't normal to think of your friends' boyfriend while you are having sex with your own boyfriend. Really not normal. It sounds as sick as it truly is.

I got up from the bed and put a robe on and then I walked out to my kitchen to make some coffee. I went over to the coffee maker and got it going with my morning coffee. Then I decided that it would be best if I went over to the living room to clean up the wine and wine glasses before I got to work so I went to the living room. I grabbed the empty wine bottle and the two glasses and went back to the kitchen to put them in the sink. I didn't move from the sink, I just stood there and breathed out calmly, the only sound to be heard was the coffee maker next to me. I felt fulfilled. I felt almost like I was normal for once. Maybe me and Richie would get married and have kids. The most normal thing that occurred to me.

"What was he doing here, Sherry?" I heard a familiar voice whisper behind me in despite. I turned around quickly, grabbing one of the knifes on the counter. He grabbed my hand, he was much quicker than I was so he pressed hard on a soft spot on my hand, making it hurt like hell. I howled in pain and dropped the knife on the ground.

"A knife?" he chuckled. "You know you don't have chance. Remember last time what happened?" he asked as he leaned in closer to me, his face only inches from mine. His beautiful grey eyes scaning mine for vulnerability and found it instantly. His mere face woke it all up like a forest fire, burning with the hottest of passion. He smelled so good, I just wanted to bury myself within him. But no. I had to stand up for myself. Well, at least for Polly and Richie. I was so mad but in some crazy way, my whole entire body ached for him. For his touch, for his love.

"Fuck you!" I spat in his face, trying to pry his hands of off me to no avail. "Get out of my house, your fucking asshole!" he just chuckled at me, showing off his incredibly attractive dimples.

"Get out!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. He covered my mouth with his ungloved hand this time, and hushing me quietly.

"You are mine, Sherry." He said, holding me tight against him. "Do not ever forget that. Unless you want me to kill him."

John was the sickest man I've ever met, truly. In second thought. His father was even more sick.


	9. The Truth Unfolds

His hand were still on my mouth, keeping it shut. I didn't know myself what was going on. Not at all. After a while he let go of my mouth and just stood there, watching me carefully.

I snorted and were about to go to my bedroom to dress properly when he grabbed my arm and made me stop.

"Don't walk away from me like a five year old." he firmly said keeping his hand on my arm even after I stopped.

"I am not-" I sighed loudly not bothering to arguing about if I were like a five year old or not. I just wanted to cut to the chase.

"I just want to go to my closet and dress properly if you are going to insist on not leaving me the fuck alone." I hissed. He smiled broadly and let go of my arm.

"Does it matter to you?" he asked.

"What matters?" I answered angrily, I was out of patience.

"If I see you like this." he said and gestured to the robe that hung loosely of my body. One of my breasts were about to jump out of it. I turned red in a blink of an eye as I pulled the robe closed tightly around me.

"I've seen you already once before and I will see you again, so stop being so bashful." he teased and turned around and walked out to the living room.

"What the hell, John?" He turned around in the door and raised an eyebrow at me.

"The last time we saw each other. When we.." I paused, staring down at the floor a bit shy at the pictures popping up. But then I remembered how he hurt me. What he did.

"At first you tried to fucking strangle me and then from nowhere, you were fucking me." I paused for a second. Catching my breath. "After we were done, we cuddled. You were holding me like I meant something to you. But then, you just left. The last you said was it just was sex. What the fuck are you doing here?" I spat angrily. He chuckled quietly and walked towards me. Stopping right in front of me.

"I didn't say I love you. I just said that you are mine." he said and touched my face softly. I slapped his hand away angrily.

"I am not yours. I am Richie's. And you belong to my friend. Please go." He scoffed loudly at my words.

"Richie's?" he continued to scoff. "You love me, Sherry. I can see it as clear as the day." I turned my face away, not wanting to give him the fully satisfaction by seeing what he knew in my eyes.

"And he is a dead man. Everyone that puts a hand on my women are not to live long."

"You don't touch him, you sick fuck!" I howled. He grabbed me by my arms and stared angrily into my eyes. I had pissed him off.

"If there is anyone else that has touched you except Richie and Alexis, I would like to know that now." It took some time for me to actually understand what he said but then I understood everything. Alexis kissed me outside of my apartment and when I went in I heard loud bangs. He had killed him.

"Oh my god." I whispered.

"That's what happens. He was going to die anyway since he was stupid enough to walk around among our friends and talking about me and Polly." The sound of her name woke me up. He needed to go and it was now.

"Polly.." I whispered. "You need to go to her." I tried. He didn't seem affected by it at all. He just pulled me closer to him, pulling little to hard making my robe fall to the ground beside the knife. He did it on purpose of course.

"I can't do this to her." I sobbed as he kissed my shoulder and continuing up to my neck. It felt so damn good. Why didn't it feel like this with Richie?

He stopped and looked me in the eyes. He was so damn fine. He was stunning and I was so in love with him. I didn't want to be, I really didn't. But I don't really have a choice now, do I? You don't get to decide that for yourself.

He kissed me and I let it happen. I even kissed him back. He was a sick, twisted man and I was a horrible, horrible woman. We fit together in that way.

He broke the kiss and walked over to kitchen table. He pulled one of the chairs out and sat himself down with his eyes on me the whole time.

"You see, it is not that hard." he said with a smile. "To surrender to me, I mean." I lowered my gaze. For me it didn't seem that hard in someone else's eyes. But inside me, I scream and fight against it. To no avail obviously but I am still trying.

"Why are you doing this?" I breathed hard. I felt the tears coming, they stung on the inside of my eyelids. "Why, John? Why don't you just go to Polly and leave me alone?" I was sobbing now and John didn't even seem to bother.

He rose from the chair and walked up to me and took his arm around my waist, leading me into my bedroom. I stopped in the doorway sobbing continuously because I know I couldn't resist it. It was also so much harder to resist something when you wanted it so bad.

He kissed my arms, my neck and my hands which made me shiver in delight. His lips on my skin felt like heaven. How can something so wrong feel like that?

"Please stop.." I almost whispered. My voice was so weak and low. He stopped abruptly and locked his eyes with mine. I was crying, tears running down my cheeks.

"Why? We both want this." He said softly, caressing my wet cheeks.

"It is not right, John. We can't do this to Polly. We just can't." He let go of my cheeks and just stared at me. It was hard to tell what he was feeling. If he was feeling anything at all.

"I love her. She knows it. It is entirely different when I'm with her than when I'm with you." I sobbed loudly. I kind of know what he was going to say and I honestly didn't want to hear it. It was going to hurt like hell once again.

"I don't want to speak like this to you, but you give me no choice." he started. I shook my head in disapproval. I didn't want to hear it.

"You don't. Even after I tell you that I don't love you, you still cling to the hope that I do. You need to hear the cold truth. As many times as it takes for you to get it in." I was still shaking my head, sobbing loudly. I was trying to keep the words from me, I didn't want to hurt again. Sleepless nights. I wasn't going to get through.

"Polly, she is my.." he seemed to think about his choice of words. Like it mattered. I knew what she was to him. "She is the one." he choose the word that hurt the most of course.

"With her, I make love. I am tender, I am loving. I care for her, I watch her the whole time." I shook my head desperately now. "Stop, please." I begged.

"With you, I fuck. I fuck you senseless, I don't care if it is more than you can take, it is how you get it." He ignored my pleading like it was nothing.

"No!" I howled. "Get out!" I tried to push him away but he was like solid rock. I couldn't get him to move even a little. He took hold of my hands and held them behind my back. His face was so close to mine now, but I had the strength to refuse it. He didn't care a piss about me. He was here to humiliate me. That was his type of fun.

"I don't want this anymore. You are just hurting me for your own fun your fucking asshole." I sobbed. His eyes widened at my words and he held me closer.

"I am not doing this because I think it is fun. Am I laughing?" he asked.

"You probably are on the inside." I shot back. He smiled, his beautiful dimples showing off again. It made me melt, his beauty was my weakness. I just wanted him to do it to me, I could just push away all the thoughts about how wrong it is. Maybe it isn't. He doesn't love me, but I do love him, if this is the way I could be with him why does it have to be so forbidden? I just wanted him. I wanted him to be mine. Polly could never know how badly I wanted to be in her shoes.

"Fuck you for being so fucking appealing." I spat at him before I launched myself at him with a kiss. We almost fell over but he was quick enough to stop it. He held hard onto me, grabbing me everywhere, breathing on my bare skin.

"I'm going to make you love me." I breathed hard like an animal, I was becoming drugged at his taste and smell, it was so amazing. He didn't seem to hear it, he just continued. I grabbed his face, pulling him closer to me firmly, making him go a little slower on me.

"Did you hear me, handsome?" I asked as I kissed his beautiful face. "I am going to make you love me." I finished as I took control over the situation, positioning myself on top.

"I don't want this to stop. Ever." I breathed heavily as I nuzzled myself into his rock hard chest. He looked down at me with a smirk and one of his trade mark chuckles.

"That's funny." he sat himself up a bit against the beds headboard with me still on his chest. "Because it wasn't that long ago you wanted me out of the house." I laughed with him since it actually was funny as well as it was extremely sad at the same time. We got quiet and I tried to fix my eyes on something in the room, just savoring the moment. My eyes had a hard time focusing on anything but at last I focused on his bare stomach, noticing a little birthmark there. It was cute since it was so small and barely something you pay attention to. I brushed my fingers against it, earning a deep inhale from him. I could tell that he wasn't so used to be touched carefully since every time I touched him in that matter of way he gave away some sort of reaction that was filled with insecurity. If I were to tell him he wouldn't recognize it. He would brush it away as my weird thoughts, or as me being pathetic. Something happened to him as a child and I think that is pretty obvious. Just look at what he is working with, what he does as a daily living. But still, I couldn't hate him. I just couldn't make myself to do it. It was as impossible as breathing under water.

He cleared his throat and raised himself from the bed, making my daydreams fade as I fall softly to the mattress. I sat myself up tiredly and stared at him while he dressed himself. Why was this necessary?

"So, you are leaving? As fast as you came?" I said, taunting this time and not angrily. He turned around a bit and smirked at me, putting his last item of clothing on him and then turned fully to me.

"Well, I've got work to do, ms Birkin." he smiled, not genuinely as Richie does, just his lips forming a bow. His eyes didn't tell me anything at all as usually.

"I wouldn't call that work, sweetie." I said half serious and half joking. My words were true. That wasn't work, that was plain and simply criminal actions and that only. Murder, stealing, threats. Hideous.

"What I am going to do today isn't against the law." he walked towards the bed and gave me a peck on my cheek and then he laughed quietly. "I thought you had looked me up closely. Everything you could get your little hands on." I kissed him softly, smiling through the kiss.

"What if I did but still disagree with you?" I asked. He smiled one last time and then he went for the door without a word. Just like that. Bye bye.

I sighed and fall back into the covers. My bed smelled like him a little bit, like his cologne. That happy feeling filled my entire body up, my cheeks heated up. I even laughed to myself quietly. From somewhere unknown a black thick smoke overwhelmed me. Sucking all the happiness from me, leaving me empty. It felt as I was about to empty my stomach out on the floor. The anxiety was back. How could I do this to her? To Polly? This may be a crazy thing to say but I wasn't raised to be like this. Not even my parents, despite everything they did, would be okay with my actions. The guilt ate me up from the inside and made me tired. It drained me from all the energy I had left. But I had work to attend to so I didn't have much of a choice, I needed to get there and pretend like nothing has happened or else I would probably alert Richie and that was not necessary.

I got up from the bed and dressed myself properly and left for work. I put on some makeup too to make my face look less drained of color. I was trained to hide the fear and hurt in my eyes but I was impossible to make my blood go around in my body to my face. I was as pale as a ghost.

Papers filled my desk, almost falling of off it. I let out a deep sigh. I was stuck at the precinct with the paperwork since I somehow had given my permission to my new partner to take his too. I had been so lost all day, thinking more than I should so I must've said yes without thinking. Fun. I had too much at my plate already. The day had been awful and I really didn't have any energy to sit around and do all this. I decided that it could wait until tomorrow and maybe I could ask my new partner, Hanson, to help me a bit. I could easily explain to him that it was a little to much than I had expected. That was the truth. It would feel good to tell the truth for once, everything that comes out of my mouth this times feels like lies. It _is_ lies. I sigh once again and hurry out of the precinct out to my car.

I started it and drove out of the garage. What should I do? I feel so bad. What can comfort me? A little smile played on my lips. I knew exactly what, or rather _who,_ could comfort me. I took of into the fancy part of the town. It is pretty late but I am assured that he is awake.

It took me about a half hour to get to his apartment, I parked outside and get out of the car. I breathed the thick air into my lungs trying to calm myself down a bit before I pressed the button on the doorphone. It took no more than five seconds for him to pick up the phone.

"I am busy. You better have a good reason for bothering me." he spat firmly. I got tongue tied. Very inviting, I thought before answering him.

"It's me." I almost whispered. It was quiet for a while like he was shocked by hearing my voice.

"What do you think you are doing here?" he asked me angrily.

"Ehm.." I cleared my throat. What on earth was it with him and his mood changes? He acted like a thirteen year old girl for good sake. "I just wanted to be with you." I said truthfully. A little beep was heard and it signaled me that he had let me in. I opened the door and went in. The floor was in white marble and there was a chandelier hanging from the ceiling as big as my entire apartment almost. I took the elevator up to his floor. Music was even playing in the elevator. A little pling was heard and I got out of the elevator and walked up to his apartment door and when I was about to knock, my fist up in the air only a mere centimeter from the door, he opened it. He was wearing a black shirt and black slacks and of course a pair of black shoes to accomplish the dark outfit. He locked eyes with me for a second or two before he moved out of the way so I could get in.

He closed the door behind me and locked it and then he turned slowly to me with an unsatisfied look on his face.

"Did I tell you that it was okay for you to come here and visit me?" he asked me tiredly and leaned against the doorway into what seemed to be the living room.

"I.." I started but his malicious grin caught me of guard. He shook his head at me exactly as he did at the club a while ago. He wasn't pleased with me. Not at all. I clearly had stepped in some shit.

"I just.." I tried again but he interrupted me instantly.

"No." he said and leaned into me a little bit. "What if Polly was here?" I just stared at him ashamedly. He was right. He was completely right. What if she was?

"Don't dare to jeopardize what I have with her for this." he said and drew is eyes in mine angrily. I stared back disgusted.

"For this?" I spat at him. "Don't _you_ dare to treat me like this!" He laughed at me huskily.

"I just started to believe that you were intelligent, Sherry." He laughed and shook his head. "I guess I was wrong since you never seem to grip the reality of things." I felt the anger burn and bubble inside of me. I was sick and tired of this. Now, I truly was.

"You don't get to talk to me like that. I don't care what or who you think you are but I do have feelings and you are not allowed to step on them like I am not worth more than shit!" I hissed at him, our faces only inches between each other. He smirked at me mockingly and shook his head at me slowly.

"No!" I yelled. "Don't smirk at me, you son of a bitch!" he snapped his head up at me and his features went from amused to angry scarily fast, his grey eyes turning black and hollow in an instant. He gripped my upper arm with on of his large hands and dragged me closer to him. Our faces almost touching.

"You can pretend to be all sad and hurt. But you know as well as me as when you leave, you will be angry for a few days-" I interrupted him by trying to push him away from me. His grip got tighter around my arm, hurting me badly. "You will be all angry until I come to you. Because when I do, Sherry, your legs will magically open before me because you love me." he smirked from ear to ear wickedly. "Whatever you do or whomever you are with, you will never stop loving me. You will do anything for me. So let's just cut the bullshit, ok?"

I felt disgusted by his words, by him. He wasn't right. Not this time. I will not let him in again. Never again.

"Let go of me, you sick fuck." I sobbed. I hadn't realized before then that I was crying. Warm tears running down my cheeks, dropping down on my green scarf. Surprisingly he let go of me. I pressed my arm to my chest and went for the door. He blocked it and stared amused at me.

"Don't cry, Sherry." he said, his hand barely touching my cheek. I slapped it away and tried to get him out of the way.

"This is for the best, for you to know where you belong." he said and got out of the door way. I locked it up and opened it with shaking hands.

When I got out in the corridor he grabbed me once again but not hard this time. His grip on my upper arm was soft and tender.

"See you in a few days." with that said he let go of me and closed the door behind him. No. There will not be any seeing in any days forward. Fuck no.

I hurried to the elevator and while I was inside I sunk to the floor with my hands cupping my face. I so angry both at him and myself at the same time. I was so angry with him for toying with me. For him to not see me as anything else but his private toy whom he could do whatever the fuck he wanted to. I was angry with myself for letting him into my bed two times before realizing this. Even after the visit from Alexis which I know understood only wanted to help me. What could I say? I was blinded. I usually isn't. I have a very good eye for people but this time I guess I didn't let myself see it because he was exciting. Wow, I am pathetic.

The elevator gave away a pling and I was on the ground level. The door slide open and I almost ran towards the street. I needed to get out and it was now.

I opened my car and got into it and not thinking any further where I should go since I just needed to get away from him, I just put the foot on the gas and drove the hell out of there. I turned left in the junction, not having a clue where I was heading. I don't even know if I was breathing. Of course I had to be. Or else I would be dead. Maybe I was. Maybe this was hell?

I shook those silly thoughts out of my mind but the silly thoughts went quickly over to horrible ones. Memories of when I woke up that morning, the first time we slept with each other, when my body was filled with bruises. How rough he was just now when I didn't do as he wanted me to. When he almost choked me to death. The memories went over to images of him hurting Polly. Him hitting her when she didn't comply to his every word, his big hands around her fragile neck, her beautiful and kind brown eyes slowly losing its life. I was sweating and my hands were shaking so I quickly drove into the side of the road and parked the car. I cut the engine and shut the headlights off. I cupped my hands over my face. I was shaking uncontrollably now.

It was a big chance that he was abusing her. He is sick and twisted with no sense of moral at all. How could I be so egoistic? Polly doesn't probably even know who he is. I have to tell her.

Somewhere deep inside I was hoping that her house would be unlit but the lights were on. I even saw two cars in the driveway. But she seemed to be alone since it was quiet and I could clearly see her sitting in her couch and watching TV.

I cut the engine and got out of the car with determined steps toward her door. When I stood on her porch I took a few inhales before I knocked on her door. She opened the door in her pajamas with a perplexed smile. I just stood there staring at her as I felt my hands begin to shake.

"Sherry? I didn't expect you." she said and her perplexed look turned into her usual happy self. "Come in!" she said as she opened the door and got out of the doorway. I just nodded and got in and closed the door behind me.

"Is something wrong? You seem-" she started but I cut her in the middle of her sentence. I needed to get it out of me. I didn't want her to be nice to me. Not after what I have done to her.

"Yes." I said and my voice was quivering. "Can we sit down somewhere?" she nodded and led me to her living room. She sat down in the couch and I took place beside her but not to close. I wasn't scared that she would hit me because I knew that she wouldn't. And against the odds and she did hit me, I wouldn't care. I deserved it.

"What is it, honey? You seem upset." she said and took my hands in hers. I extended my hands and put them on my knees hastily. She gave me that perplexed look again. It felt like my heart was in my throat. This was going to be tough to do but I needed to do it. She deserve to know.

"Have I done something to you?" she asked and I shook my head instantly.

"No, oh god no." I exhaled deeply. "I have done something terrible to you." she got quiet and watched me carefully.

"I am just going to tell you everything because you deserve to know it. You are one of the best human beings I know. You are good from the inside out." She kept quiet and that was a cue for me to tell her what was going on. It was harder than I imagined. My mouth was as dry as the Sahara desert. I barely couldn't get a word out of me. But I had to. I didn't have a choice. This wasn't about me anymore.

"John and I, we ehm.." I started but my throat closed at me so I had to clear it a couple of times before I continued. "We have met a couple of times without your knowing." I was quiet for a while trying to collect myself and figuring out how I was going to say this in a nice way if there even was one. I heard her laugh happily. I stared wide-eyed at her.

"Sher!" she exclaimed. "I thought it was something serious. You almost made me shit myself!" she chuckled.

"We had sex." I blurted out and her laughs was long gone.

"What..?" she whispered, her voice quivering.

"Yes. We slept with each other more than once. We had an affair you could say." I lifted my eyes from my knuckles where they were focused earlier. She looked at me suspiciously.

"I don't believe you." she simply said. I couldn't believe my ears.

"What?" was all I could get out of me.

"You heard me." she petted me on the shoulder tenderly. "I am sorry Sherry, but I don't believe you because I think you are lying to me to get me to break up with him."

"Why on earth would I lie to you?" she smiled warmly.

"Don't be mad now, honey. But I, Claire and Moira have talked about this a couple of times and we all came to the conclusion that we think that you think that he is dangerous or something." she laughed at her own comment. "The way you acted the first time you guys met, it was so obviously. I am sorry but it was."

"That wasn't even the first time we met, Polly! The first time I met John, he broke into my home because I was on his tracks."

"He broke into your home, huh? And you were on his _tracks_? What do you even mean by that?" she asked and now she was irritated with me.

"He has murdered people, Polly. I am a cop, remember?" she frowned.

"Murdered people? Are you even listening to yourself right now?"

"You know me, Polly. We have known each other for a very long time. I am being honest with you. I truly am." she looked away thoughtfully for a few seconds and then she looked back at me and her eyes seemed to grip the reality to what I was telling her.

"I, eh.." she mumbled and then she just shrugged. "Why would you even do that?" she asked me with a quivering voice. I started to cry. I couldn't help myself.

She rose from the couch hastily. "Oh my god, Sherry!" she shrieked.

"I am so sorry." I sobbed.

"Sorry? You are sorry? You are a fucking whore, that is what you are!" she spat at me.

"Yes, I know." I croaked. "I know I am horrible, I think so too. But you have to stay away from him. He is dangerous. He hurts people for a living, he kills them. I know this and that's why I'm here. To protect you."

"Protect me? Maybe you could have thought about that before you fucked my boyfriend!" she started to cry herself and that didn't make it easier for me to stop.

"He works for a man named Piotr Renko. He is a scientist who worked with my father back in Raccoon City." she stopped crying. She looked at me, her eyes filled with hurt and anger. I was the worst friend ever. "That man is sicker than my own father. He is even more dangerous and John is working for him. You are going to get hurt if you keep being with him." I pleaded.

"Are you for real?" she spat as she was pointing at me.

"Do you honestly think I would share the same bed as him ever again? I am not his fucking pet!" Her words soothed me. She was a smart girl and that was really good in this situation. I didn't have to worry about it.

"Good." I sobbed. "You are to good for him anyway." I tried. I don't know why I did because she snorted at me angrily and that was exactly what I deserved.

"Never be alone with him again. He is unpredictable. He has hurt me when I was. He is abusive and if he hasn't done anything to you before he will absolutely do it when you tell him." I told her. She nodded. "Yes, I will take it with him in public." she reassured me. "And please don't be home alone afterwards, for a long time. As I told you, he knows how to break into peoples homes without a sound." she sighed.

"I know he is dangerous. I am not stupid. I just didn't think it was _that_ serious. I knew he has shady businesses. He has many of them with my friend and that is how I met him." I nodded and exhaled loudly. It felt good to have this out of the way.

"I am so sorry. I never intended to hurt you." I assured her but of course to no avail.

"I just want to know _why_ you did it?" she asked me calmly. I wasn't sure if I should tell her. That information wasn't necessary for her to know. That kind of information would just hurt her. I guess it took too long for me to answer in her opinion since she cleared her throat loudly.

"Do you just have the hots for him or do you love him?" she bit her lip to prevent herself from crying. "Does he love you?"

"No." I exclaimed. "No, he doesn't. He just toyed with me." she nodded. "So, there it is. You love him. Or else you would never say that _he_ toyed with you and not the other way around."

"I can't help it."

"Oh, I know. He is appealing. He is everything you want in a guy."

"He is a monster."

"And so are you." she said and took a few steps away from me. "I would like you to leave and never come back." It hurt to hear the words. I knew that it was going to come to this. But I just never could be prepared enough. You never can.

I got up from the couch and gave her a last look. She stared at me with pure hatred. I've never seen Polly like this.

"Get out." she pointed at the door. I walked over to the door and opened it with shaking hands. I got out on the porch and turned around when I heard her fotsteps behind me.

"I never want to see you again. You are dead to me." her words were as sharp as knifes. She gave me a last look and then she shut the door on me harder than it was necessary. The tears came back creeping and I felt more useless and pathetic than I have ever felt in my entire life. Well, karma is a bitch. I did this to myself. I am a filthy human being and I am truly ashamed of myself. Please, God, help me..


End file.
